Picto-update

De-stressing again after speaking test. I don't deserve this time of  "oh-I-have-nothing-to-do", but ah, viewing my albums and realising on how I've not uploaded any of the latest photos since coming back from raya break just makes me feel weird.

I will upload all of them this semester break, since it's almost the end of the semester anyway. Once you've missed one album, it's just not right to start uploading a new one. That's why I didn't upload any at all. It's like piling up a Maths homework. Once you've stopped doing one topic, you won't feel like continuing the next.

This is what I've been up to with a real camera in my hands.

Balance-the-switch game. Housemate's room.

Balance-the-switch game. My room.

Admiring the beauty of the Akasian sky at 7.08am.

Realised that waking up early on a Saturday morning is fun.
Here's an unedited picture of my (almost broken) guitar.

Took pictures of a lot of people, because it's fun especially when they
are not posing for your camera.

September ended.

October came.

There are times when I find myself in the heights of euphoria, but indeed there are also times when I fall back into the depths of agony.

But sometimes, no matter what the doubts are all about, no matter how tough this journey is, it's these kind of photographs that will somehow whisper to you that the people around you are not there for nothing. And you are here not because of nothing as well. 

I still don't get why am I in this place, sometimes. 

Home is just one month away. I pray that even in the struggles, I can still find joy.

Yayyyy

No more Bio tests until finals. Yayyy.

IELTS speaking test on Friday. Yayyyyy.

De-stressing after a test paper is indeed one of the best feelings in college life. Just came back from a relaxing dinner time after a not so relaxing Bio test.

I had high hopes on Bio this time. I wanted to show improvement so that my first improvement won't look as if it was mere luck. But...ahhhh...too bad. I have to admit today's paper was tough. I expected it to be tougher than the previous one, and I was prepared to face it no matter how tough it would turn out to be.

No regrets. I did my best. I studied. I read the textbooks and understood the concepts. I did exercises. I sat on my study table like never before. I enjoyed Kreb's Cycle like dancing at a field on top of a hill with brown leaves falling from a huge tree. I didn't feel the burden in revising for this test. 

That's already a huge accomplishment for me.

If I don't get what I want, it's okay. :) I can do better in my finals, and I believe as long as I continue to do my part, God is always there looking at my effort. :)

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Random updates?

I bought a red pair of shoes today muahahahaa. This is sooo not me, but a 10 bucks pair of shoes is not easy to forget, especially when your friend promoted it to you the first moment she saw you early in the morning XD Now there are 3 people in the CA committee with the same shoes but different colours hahahaha. 

Nothing much to update on, but yeah, as usual, I have a lot of random things to say, but not today. Maths is waiting.

See you after the finals.

Just kidding.

Octoberrrrrrrrrr

I kind of managed to deactivate my blog for almost 2 weeks, and I am indeed happy because it helped me to whine less hahahahaha.

September has been good, although there were still moments of failures. At least September taught me that I am actually capable of achieving something I could never imagine of last semester, but of course it is only achievable if and only if I do my part.

I'm still struggling with Maths/Stats and Chemistry, but the fear is less compared to last time after knowing that as long as I put extra effort, I'll soon be able to see the improvement, just like Bio. I thank God that He never gave up on me, although last month I keep on questioning my existence in this place. I still don't want my improvement in Bio to appear as mere luck, so the pressure is there to keep improving. Ahhhh.

And last night I just realised the fact that I've been clean from instant noodles for 2 months now.

Random info.

I see a crazy week ahead, in fact three crazy weeks ahead before study leave. Instead of seeing it as one whole period of torture, I guess what I will try to do is view all of these as days which I will have to venture one by one. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me, despite the fact that there'll certainly be so many days where I'll end up in dilemma. Time is so precious now, I feel super guilty whenever I stay too long on fb, hold my guitar, or sleep too much. 

Motivation is still high. I love the moments when my mum calls me and ask me what I'm doing. I can answer happily that I'm studying, because most of the time, I am studying. Although I study not as much as my housemates, I know that I'm enjoying what I'm doing now.

I might still fail my Chemistry topic test, I might be falling into emo-ness again. But a little self-pity will do. The next morning I'm going to wake up and start moving forward again, I promise.

Stop

OK, stop reading and start scolding.

I'm so sorry that I'm here instead of studying. I'm so sorry that actually I was doing my Bio report when suddenly I stopped.

Because the rain stopped me.

God, forgive me for breaking my promise, but when inspiration came, I just couldn't stop it. I'll make this post fast.

I wrote a song in 40 minutes, which was, in fact, completed a few milliseconds ago.

Stop
(Listen to the Rain)

There's too much music in life
With earphones on, we're singing songs
We think it can make us survive

Why search for something so far?
Why do we yearn for other sounds
When the closest one is where we are

Sitting alone
In this darkness of the night
With the music on
Everything's gone
I'm just floating like a kite

I close my eyes
Asking God why
When suddenly
It came to me
The raindrops from the dark sky

Pre-chorus
We try so hard sometimes
To force all things to rhyme
God gave us music in the simplest thing
But are we still going to sing?

Chorus
Why don't you stop, stop?
Listen to the rain, rain
Don't waste your time to think
Of the things you can't explain

Stop (stop)
Listen to the rain
Feel the breeze hitting your ears
Let go of all your fears
Tonight there's no more tears
________________________________

Let me tell you what happened.

I was doing my report and I thought that listening to some music might be nice to kill the boredom. Well I chose to listen to some songs which are not that helpful anyway, yeah, the ones that just happened to be in my playlist because I loved them years ago.

Then suddenly I felt raindrops hitting on my face as I was (and am) sitting next to a window which was (is?) wide opened.

Then I thought of how I spend most of my time with my headphones/earphones on, as a way to escape the noises around me, especially when I'm in class and I'm just tired of the noises I don't want to listen to. Or on the bus when the radio station just happens to kill my eardrums. Or when I feel emo, I just don't want to hear the voices of people around me.

It made me feel that if I choose to still shut my ears with my headpones when it's raining outside, I'm missing out a naturally played music which only comes once in a while, not like those voices, not like those songs.

So this song was written.

No, listening to songs is not wrong. And yes, some people might not like the sound of the raindrops. And uh, after asking people to smell the rain, now it's listen to the rain.

By the time I have free time to record this, I might have forgotten how it sounds like.

So let's just see how things will go.

Scold me for not studying.

----

I can't study alone because I will tend to have so many questions in my mind, and those questions will be left unanswered.

I can't study in a group because everyone's ahead of me, I just don't get what they're talking about.

Complaining.

Attitude of a loser.

What to do.

Brain says: I guess it's just you and me now, buddy. You gotta help yourself. 

Aaaaaa.