Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Study leave is almost coming to its end...

..and as usual, I find myself hating the fact that I never really utilise the time that I have to do some proper revision. 5 minutes trying to focus on something, I get distracted again.

It's so annoying that although today I managed to complete one chapter of Statistics, now I end up sitting in front of the laptop, previously thinking of doing some past year papers, and a few minutes later ending up googling about Squier Bullet Strat and start dreaming of having one.

Self-control, buddy. Self-control.

And now I'm like calculating how impossible it is to finish studying everything before the finals.

Looks like I'm planning for my own failure, I know.

Someone please just throw a brick to my face. As much as you are fed up of advising me to persevere and continue working hard, I'm fed up of myself as well. I hate myself for being so lazy, easily distracted and slow. It's a super bad combination.

Time to do something, although it looks rather too late...

Sandpaper Inside My Throat

Study leave has just began and I'm falling sick.

Oh boy. :(

*

We make assumptions to quickly, we get frustrated very easily. We throw out angry statements, we let our emotions deceive us. Not knowing the reasons behind certain things, certain actions that our loved ones take. Not thinking first about many possibilities of what's happening on the other side of the story, what's playing in that person's mind.

I am that kind of person.

But I am thankful that through this weakness that I have, no matter where I run to, I always seem to get the help that I need before I have to see everything as being too late to realise.

I'm sorry for making you worried, and no, I don't hate you.

I love you.

Suddenly Thought of This

Life is like revising Ethics slides.

You don't know how many exact pages there are.

You don't know how many unexpected pages there are, and how long and tough some notes are on some pages.

But you just keep revising, keep copying them, keep learning, with the thought that as long as you keep going, you're going to eventually reach the last page.

And you just know, when you finally reach that last page, you will smile and leap in joy, because by then you'll feel satisfied that you've done your part, you've prepared for the exam, you finished doing everything that you can.

Life is like revising Ethics slides.

Answering my own question about life, the future, and our uncertainties.

Oh, the disadvantages of studying without hard copy notes.

Waking Up

Waking up from emoness is just one great feeling.

Eventhough I had risked my reputation and dignity during the emo moments, I guess the lessons that came from it made me realised that I need some tough moments to mould me into a person I would like to be in the future.

Looking matured and acting matured is cool, but tough.

Need more trials and lessons and pain, I guess.

But to be honest, I wish that I never really had to blame others or ask God why whenever times get tough. Easy to realise when life is OK, but tough to think rationally when things go wrong.

And like I said just now, need more training, I guess.

Things will get tougher after this, buddy. But remember, you're not alone. Even a rainy day can give you a beautiful time.