Farewells and Dreams

Sitting in the backseat of the van, enjoying the night breeze, I let my imagination run as I ponder and smile upon so many different moments in my life.

One by one, I watch them leave.

I go to the very same place, take pictures, exchange hugs and nice words, and try to not think of the future.

Farewells. 

I've been so used to it right now, it fact it's one of the most frequent things that happens in my life. Maybe yours too.

KLIA.

Thirteen years ago, it meant something else. Not until last year, I stepped into that place again, reminding me of how time flies. Now, it means something beyond that. 

It's a place of farewells. And dreams.

As I looked into my friends' faces, I just can't help to think that one day we're all going to be strangers to each other once again. One by one, we leave. We have new friends. New environments. We change. Both you and me. Things will never be the same again. I no longer have that feeling I had when I left secondary school and my class 'gang'. Maybe tomorrow I'll no longer have this feeling too towards these people.  

Nevertheless, the memories will still be able to make me smile. The pictures might remind me of something. The previous me may no longer be the future me. Yet still the friendship, the hugs, the tears, the laughter, they're all so valuable.

I stood there. Pointed there. And said to myself.

In a few months time, I'm going to be the one leaving.

I wasn't sure of my words, I never was. But I still dream big. I still want it to happen.

Well it's been a rough day, a tough week. Started by a simple mistake of forgetting to bring a piece of tutorial sheet to class, which caused my lecturer to look at me with that kind of  face as if saying "Oh, no wonder you're that failing student."

I don't know if I'm just imagining stuffs, but I know. I know I'm nobody yet. 

This long long day made me think so much. Friendship, farewells, grades, my life.

Trial exams in less than a week. I'm still feeling empty everywhere. I'm still tired, missing my guitar, missing the entertainments I used to run to as a way to escape. But I don't want to regret. And I don't want to feel stressed. These final few months here, all I want to do is smile, get amazed by little things, forget my anger, forgive myself, laugh along the jokes, and just be myself.

KLIA. Akasia. My CA friends. 

In the future, I want to look back at these three, and tell myself I lived here for two years with no regrets.

One by one, I watch them leave.

And I'll be one of them too.