Why I Love Passenger

First of all...

I don't think they used the meme correctly, but who cares, it's
the message that matters.

Hello lovely (and not so lovely, uninvited) readers! For the sake of keeping this blog alive, I'll be talking about something that I seldom talk about with anyone else (because it's so hard to find other 'Passengers' here).

It was one evening in August 2013 when I first heard Let Her Go in the car. I remember the date. And the occasion. But I don't think I need to be specific about it. I immediately made a note on my phone, typing down one line of the lyrics so that I could look it up when I get back home.

I remember watching the music video on YouTube for the first time. I remember being surprised that I've never heard about this Passenger guy. Or maybe I thought it was a band? I don't remember.

Then I kept on listening to Let Her Go until I could remember the lyrics. The second song that I discovered was Feather on the Clyde. It was so special to me. One of the most vivid childhood memories that I have is the ice creams I used to buy at Clydebank on weekends. I don't remember whether it was at the shopping centre, or some sort of a roadside, but I remember being excited if we were going to Clydebank. The ice creams were special because I could choose the toppings, and I always chose the coloured sprinkles.

Feather on the Clyde talks about being "as helpless and as hopeless as a feather on the Clyde"

Well I would swim but the river is so wide

And I'm scared I won’t make it to the other side

Well God knows I've failed but He knows that I've tried

I long for something that’s safe and warm

But all I have is all that is gone

I'm as helpless and as hopeless as a feather on the Clyde

I was feeling exactly the same. And it felt so much better knowing that there's a song describing your exact feelings. I decided to search for more. I got myself the whole album and listened to every single track until my playlist returned to the first track. 

Whispers was released not long after that. I was a miserable person, wasting my life by feeling miserable about life. I was constantly angry. And Whispers helped me to release my anger because yelling out the final few lines is a must.

Everyone's filling me up with noise, I don't know what they're talking about

Everyone's filling me up with noise, I don't know what they're talking about

Everyone's filling me up with noise, I don't know what they're talking about

You see all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts.

Basically the whole lyrics gave me the feels. You know when everyone keeps on stating their opinions and shoving them down your throat, and expect you to listen and follow while you're the one who has been trying out so many alternatives and knowing that they don't work. Well, I was feeling that way.

(This is going to continue as a long, emo post. I'm sorry, thespeechlessdustbin is an emo blog.)

I began to listen to my playlist attentively, like reaaaaalllly listen to the lyrics, and I was surprised to discover Life's for the Living had beautiful lyrics that I did not notice earlier on.

I hate to keep on admitting that I was suicidal, but the truth was, well, I was. No matter how happy I could get, the feeling never left me entirely. Listening to this song wasn't the ultimate cure, it's not like it was some sort of magic, but it was (and it continues to be) one of the things that remind me that this "life is for the living, so live it, or you're better of dead." The visual imagery of this song is something so real in my head. I could see the widow with her hand to the sky and a mist in her eye. I could see myself trudging down the highway, and sleeping in a disused car, "with a mattress of leaves and a blanket of stars." I cursed about how sick I am about this town because it took my dreams down. 

And then I stopped feeling angry, because I've never felt so much anger and melancholy when singing a song.

I came to terms with the things that happened when I listened to Things That Stop You Dreaming. Again, it's not like it was magic, and it wasn't something with an immediate effect. 

I've got no money in my hands or my coat or my pocket

Wont get to space cos I haven't got a rocket

But I've air in my lungs, eyes in my sockets

And a heart that beats like a tap that leaks

What more could I ask for? I feel ashamed of myself when I can't stop comparing my life and possessions with what other people are doing and what they have. I told my ex-housemate that it would be a lot easier if all my Facebook friends were farmers. I wouldn't be seeing vacation photos. I wouldn't be seeing them having good times with a bunch of friends who used to be my group of friends. Oh believe me, the feeling was so damn painful. But now, I can think positively about it. I always picture myself as being lucky that I can see the world by only sitting in front of my laptop, wearing pyjamas, and I'm a lot happier of being happy for my friends instead of feeling sorry for myself. I can learn to love the things I've got, and learn to be the things I'm not.

The next one is Scare Away the Dark. My favourite part of the song is when Mike says "If we all light up we can scare away the dark." It's a very simple phrase, but I equate darkness with depression. I've taken it a bit out of context from the song, but I'd like to think that the only way I can scare away the dark is to light up. 

Well those are the reasons why I love Passenger. Of course because he personally replied to me on Facebook too. He has many other songs talking about love and specific stories of the people that he met. I once played his songs in the car for the whole 5 hour journey back to my grandparents' place (because I hate local radio stations). My dad loved the song Holes and I think my mum loves Scare Away the Dark because of its catchy "Oo, oo, ooo ,oooo" part. And my favourite sister loves Things You've Never Done so much, she keeps on repeating that song. 

Mike Rosenberg had been playing music for many years by busking. He had a small circle of fans, and many current fans do not know him before Let Her Go was a hit. He never went to college. His song 27 that he wrote when he was 27 describes his frustration about being 27 and not achieving anything big. I love stories of people with humble beginnings. And I'm glad I found his music when I was at the lowest point of my life.

I think I've never been so obsessed with a single artiste before. I always only listened to songs and not feel so much of the need to like the artiste or band. This time it's different, maybe because of the emotions involved. Right now, one of my dreams is that if I ever get to attend my first concert, let that concert be Passenger's.

And well, let me end this post with Holes.

Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose,

And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose,

Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives, 

Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on.