Addicted

I has been 8 months since I've been clean from this "substance".
The addiction is coming back this April. I suddenly remembered about it more than I used to.
I can't stand it. Oh man, this is torturing.

I

want

one

........

Time flies. The last time I had this in school was before the SPM trials. I remember every detail about that moment clearly. Me, Eppy and Ann sat together at the last seat in the Add Maths room, right after recess. Mr. Pang was already in the class, plus some other students too. We didn't care, we just enjoyed it there. It's something nice to think about.

I'm a huge fan of this stuff. Used to buy it everytime whenthere was a jualan koperasi. I always bought 2 or 3 of them to be brought home (used to store them in the fridge and eat after dinner). One is normally to be eaten during recess. Only on Fridays.

This thing reminds me of Fridays, the crowd, the extra money I used to bring on Fridays, Add Maths class (lessons after recess), sardin gulung (always bought this too), guitar day (guys bring guitars on Fridays) and generally, schooldays.

and oh, hello April!

Looking Back (and Ahead)

"I say this because I know what I am planning for you", says the LORD. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future". - Jeremiah 29:11

I can't remember when was the first time these words were introduced to me. However, I will never forget who was the person to inspire me with this promise from God. It's none other than Mr. Song Ting Kee, my Maths teacher during form 2. He was one of the ISCF teachers too, and I admired him because it was really enjoyable to listen to him when he shares God's words and when he teaches Maths too.

Whenever I feel in doubt about the future, I always remember those words. And if you thought that getting good grades in SPM kills all of your doubts, it's wrong.

Let's look back to the past. During my form 4 years, I wasn't a happy student. Well, yes I am lying. I was happy, but not so confident with myself. I hated form 4 because the culture shock was torturing. Imagine that you've always been scoring A and at least B during your younger days, then suddenly in form 4 you get ugly grades. You are certainly not alone.

The chronicle of my downfall went like this:
1. Ugly grades.
2. Felt neglected by teachers (felt so used to being a teachers pet during younger days).
3. Started being a bit less nerdy, good coz made new friends. New fun, crazy, chatterbox friends.
4. Onlined a lot because of stress probably.
5. Didn't care much why my Add Maths was an E.
6. Relaxed a little bit, didn't push myself hard enough, started to memorize a lot of songs instead of doing revision.

The lab became the coolest place in school when SPM was getting nearer.

Luckily that only lasted for a year. In form 5, I became determined and started to set goals to beat the class top-scorer (LOL, I never managed to) but I did improve. And that was good enough.

The chronicle of my uprise was something like this:
1. Learnt that I scored a C/D/E not because of stupidity but because...(drumroll please)...school exam formats were weird, and not similar to SPM, yeah I mean those annoying monthly tests. In my fist Chemistry monthly test, I got an E. It was really difficult. Really really difficult.
2. Add maths apparently became fun when you know how to do it. It's addictive too. I did a lot of them between the two trials, scored B+ and that managed to boost up my confidence. In fact really confident for at least an A-.
3. Did loads of history short notes. Before KK meetings, between lessons, I devoted myself with this stuff which I never reread word by word anyway.
4. Didn't go to YouTube for months before SPM. YouTube is addictive because there is always a "chain reaction".
5. Started to become addicted to Chemistry lessons. Started to listen more during Physics and not let my sleepy eyes defeat me.
6. Slept less late at night. Not very early, but just OK - only to complete homeworks and not because of onlining.
7. Had fun at school. Played basketball (and even futsal) every Monday morning even the week before trial exams. Posed for photos. Laughed with the gang.

...and a lot more.

Thanks to the anime Slam Dunk, I became a basketball lover. Played a lot on Mondays.

During my final months in school, I wrote in my journal that "to balance this fun and effort would be a sweet success". Yes. I was correct.

I had fun in form 5, I wasn't a quiet student who only studied and mingled with top-scorers. My gang was the one who sat on the last table behind everyone in the Bio lab. Eh wait, I mean the 2nd last table. Being carefree and less kiasu doesn't make you stupid. We knew when to joke and when to listen.

What I'm trying to say here is...enjoy your schooldays. This entry is for those who's in the same boat as me when I was a secondary school student.

I would like to thank all of the teachers who taught me in SMK Penrissen No.1 (ok, my identity is finally revealed, I never mentioned this) for making my schooldays enjoyable. Also to the teachers who never taught me but was very nice to me. I have an unexplainable bond to this school - it's really special in its own way. The memories, the silly little things, the mistakes, the moments I've experienced there have certainly made me a better person. This anak jati of the school is really proud of being one ex-student of Penrissen.

This is my favourite in school: The Stairs. I exercise less at home, so this kept me fit. I call it "the stairs of hope" because it made me remember one scene from the movie "Beautiful Boxer".

Looking Ahead

I still don't know what's ahead of me. I have dreams and goals. But I won't tell here first. I want to stay motivated, focused and succeed. Secondary school life is officially over, now it's time to defreeze the frozen.

The Wednesday

Was it a Wednesday or the Wednesday?

It has been a tradition for bloggers to go frenzy posting about their SPM results. I've read a lot of blog entries (yeah I blogsearched a lot) about experiences of others regarding their results day. I don't know to categorise it as showing off or sharing stories. Well I prefer the latter.

I didn't really sleep well last night. I only managed to sleep at 3am after 2 hours of rolling. Woke up early, took a pretty long shower, and took up the decision to dress to impress. I've never been so nervous in my life. Yet. The nervousness was worse than sitting for the exam itself.

Went to school at 9.45 after minutes of nagging my parents. I was obviously both excited and nervous at the same time. It's great to meet again with my buddies, Eppy, Ann and Jas. Plus the rest of the classmates. Guys looked the same. Aldrin had a slightly long hair which was awesome because I never saw him like that. Some had dyed their hair a bit. I can't remember who.

Waiting was not torturing. We saw our English teacher, Miss Roseline and I went frenzy. She congratulated me so I knew there must be something good with my English paper. We also greeted Mr. Lee who was in a rush to enter class.

Now I realise why those people in TV cry when taking their results. I thought they were a bunch of show-offs who forced themselves to cry HAHA. I was wrong. I cried too. I didn't realise I was crying in front of many people. So embarrassing. The first thought which crossed my mind was, phew, thank God, I mad my parents happy. Actually I couldn't sleep last night because of thinking about my parents. The fear. You know lah.

It wasn't a happy ending some of my friends, but it wasn't an ending after all. This is just the beginning. I feel a tinge of guilt that I'm so happy now. The future is still unpredictable. One thing's for sure, God has plans for me. I'll continue to do my best. This is the beginning. This is the beginning.

Hello world?

I Cannot See The Future

YEAH IT'S HORRIBLY DEPRESSING, DAMNIT!

I cannot see the future... :(

Something is really wrong with me, but I don't know what :(

There are stuffs in my mind...a lot of 'em..

Yeah, I cannot see my future...

Are you sure it'll be OK?

Good to know that.

OK. No one. So I am not alone after all.

Phew~

Oh no, I left high school months ago..

You're right.

A'aa..

A lot, I tell you.

Sooner or later, I will still have to decide it..

I enjoyed my schooldays :')

I had a lot of fun at school too. Probably too much fun.

Yea, studies..friendship..but no love..LOL

I learned a lot from this drama. And sometimes it's just funny that even after leaving secondary school life, I still find inspiration from it. The scenes above pretty much describe my feelings right now.


Credits to the video owner. As usual, thank you photoscape!

Doubts, Uncertainties, Worries

"It's a great time but suddenly you're 17 and you have responsibilities. That's when you come to realise that the people around you expect you to pass that exam and go on to study at a good university" - Jira Malikool.

This relaxing period in my life is ending soon. To be really honest, I'm feeling quite nervous. I'm nervous to face the new things which are coming my way. Every night, my mind is filled with nothing but uncertainties. What should I do after the results are announced?

Then I realised a harsh fact. All these while, I've never made any huge decisions in my life. I've never faced any situation which requires me to fully think on my own, situations which will later bring me to either something good or something bad based on my own decision. That is the only thing which is making my heart ache a lot now.

Yesterday, I was this cheerful secondary school kid, exchanging jovial acts with my fellow friends and now, I've realised that I'm in my final stage of all those days. In just a few days, I'm going to embark this journey of uncertainties. Truthfully, one of the journeys I fear most because what I choose today is going to determine my future. And I'm still in doubt of all my decisions.

Am I alone? Am I the only one thinking of this? Will all of my dreams become reality? What should I do next? These questions are killing me.

Whatever lies ahead, wherever my future takes me to, at least I'm very sure of something. God has plans for me. Only thinking of that makes me feel better.

"A single day can determine the rest of your life". Really?

This is one of the most honest entries from me.

Yours Truly,
Fee

Classmates

It's been a few months since I left my life as a secondary school student. The part I hate most is the boredom because my social life is half dead without school. I don't go out to watch movies with friends, I've never been in a car which is driven by any of my friends, I never went shopping with anyone besides my family. Call me a lifeless nerd. I don't care. I do have a life anyway.

Back to the topic. I used to think that half of these 34 kids were strangers of my life, suddenly appearing to be my classmates when Form 4 life started. If you read my previous posts and my school journal, you'll realise how much I hated my Form 4 days. I didn't adapt to the changes well, I missed my old classmates since Form 1 to Form 3. Little did I know that these 34 kids are the ones that I'm going to appreciate most when my schooldays end.

Entering Form 5, I started to love my classmates. That made me forget about my old classmates and I came out with a new theory. Your Form 4 and Form 5 classmates will be your friends for life. No matter how much you'll forget about your school life, you will always remember your final year classmates. Especially when there are rivalry between classes >:-)

In case I forget about them someday, I've decided to write about them today.

Aaron - Sometimes I think he's not the same age as me. I mean in some aspects of life, he's older (like how he drives). He's a bit crazy, sometimes annoying to some teachers, but he's OK to me. He makes the class laugh a lot so that's one great thing to think about him.

Arbut - The most lovable guy in the class. Everyone in the school, including teachers, love him. I don't know the secret to his success. I'll never forget him because I bought a second hand Harry Potter novel from him.

Aldrin - Honestly if there was no Facebook, I would never have the chance to communicate with this guy. A nice guy, but I never talked a lot with him.

Alex - A quiet guy, but in same same time friendly. He just doesn't talk too much.

Alice - I know she loves Kpop a lot. Seldom talked to her, but yeah she's a nice girl.

Angela - I will never forget this girl, the one I still text with ever after SPM. She's the closest to me during my Form 5 days besides Dila n Eppy. She's loud at times, guys love her because she's cute and she loves Physics because to her, it's just common sense.

Avy - The most genius student in my class. Despite being a consistent top-scorer, she blends well with everyone in the class. Proof:

Pick Yee - Class captain! Very queit person, but yea she's of course a nice girl.

Jun Li - My classmate since Form 1. The friendliest person you'll ever meet!

Su Hui - A really sweet girl. What more can I say? :)

Ai Ley - She loves anime. That's all I know about her. Ahaha.

Cynthia - The next genius after Avy. Super great in Add Maths.

Dila - The closest to me (of course, because she sat next to me in the class). Also closest to me besides Ann and Eppy. I love her because she's very nice to me even though we seem to have a lot of differences. She's also my main victim when it comes to storytelling. Most of the time she listens to whatever story I share although I know most of them are boring. One of the persons who I appreciate most during my schooldays.

Eppy - The prettiest in the class, or should I say the prettiest person in the entire school? I love it when she gets crazy (especially during assembly, after we retired from becoming prefects). We joke a lot, and I have to say I have a lot of nice school memories with this person.

Gab - He loves pretty girls. He plays the guitar far better than me even though he started learning when we were in Form 4. I still see him when I go to church LOL. Most of the pics of our From 5 days comes from his camera.

Gareth - I LOVE HIS GUITAR SKILLS! A very nice person.

Harvie - The only person who became my classmate for the longest period of time, which is since Primary 5. Harvie is a super awesome guy friend. I will always remember him as my Chemistry table-mate!

Helen - A very nice girl. She doesn't like taking pictures. Sometimes funny in class. Likes teasing people in a friendly way :D

Hycellema - Quiet, but once you listen to her (especially during ujian lisan) wow you will fall from your chair.

Jessie - Doesn't talk much, but when she talks you'll know she's friendly.

Lan Yien - Wowowow..super duper hardworking and studious girl. After the trial exams before SPM, we didn't even see her because she was on a study leave. And we were still goofing around while trying to grasp Add Maths :P

Su Nyuk - Very quiet person but yeah once you listen to her speaking English you will fall from your seat.

Lenny - I hate hated him. Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I like him. He's not that evil, it's just that errr haha. I still remember when my other classmates boo to him, I'm the type of person who would generously add my voice too haha. Don't want to elaborate more, later he'll kill me :D

Leslie - A silent joker I call him. I almost forgot about this, but here's what I found in my journal: "My favourite is when Leslie can throw out a pen by using his knuckles. This dude is cool!" Towards the day when SPM was getting closer, he always asked me Add Maths questions even though he knew how bad I was in Add Maths :P

Jin Cheng - The dude with the melodious voice. His charming looks is also something easy to be remembered :P

Kah Chun - The only boy in the top 10. Extremely smart in Add Maths. Owns a smart look. I always say he looks like the Minister of Health and also our Add Maths teacher.

Marc - I talk to him sometimes, but never really had a chat with him. Good boy category :D

Mav - The mamat jiwang rock. Inseparable twin to Azzuan. Owns a red kapok which became my victim some time ago. I did post something about that incident not long ago. I talk to this guy a lot. Well, not too lot but not seldom too.

Azzuan - The newcomer. The smiling ladykiller. He actually has this unique, natural sweet smile. Everyone agrees with this statement. Inseparable twin to Mav. Proof:

Shikin - A very nice person. She's the tallest girl in the class. She doesn't talk much, but yea she's friendly.

Shue - Hardworking in studies, sometimes crazy in the class :D

Yik Yee - Friendly girl, also very hardworking in studies.

Ghee Seng - When it comes to being a leader, this dude is always one of them. Teachers love him. A lot.

Viviana - She always asked me my secrets in studying as if I'm one genius student :D A nice person, but rather quiet in class. I talk to her at times, especially when waiting for the BM club meeting to start.

Phew~ I took more that an hour to type these out. Really had to choose the correct words and phrases to use, afraid that these people will kill me after reading this. Whatever. None of my classmates blog HAHA.

And now...presenting the picture of the day:

Hope these people remember me as a crazy, loud, awesome classmate. Just kidding. It would be enough remembering me as a nice person. Itu pun if I was really nice to you. LOL.

Reminiscence

24th July 2007 was the date when I first had the idea to keep a journal - the place where I wrote about almost everything which happened at school, about how I felt and how I dealt with them.

The first sentence I had in the journal :
"Quite a good day in class although it rained all the time. I'll tell you something, today's maybe the best day ever!" I continued with some (irrelevant) stories about the funny things which happened that day.

Little did I know that it wasn't my best day ever. There were still a lot to come. Being in the same school for five years, it felt like I've grown up because of the moments I had there. Not returning to school for the new terms next year - that's something sad to think about.

Hello October, Goodbye Classroom

We failed to pay for the rental fees. As a result, they kicked us out of the classroom.

NO. That was not what had happened this morning. We had to bid farewell to our beloved maroon-ish classroom to leave it into the hands of Form 3 students who are going to sit for their PMR. If you saw me this morning, ehem, I was the one who hugged my table emotionally, I was also the one who felt the texture of the blackboards with the palms of my hands and gazed at the bright morning sky melancholically. Okay, enough with the insanity.

In a shorter sentence:
We moved to another classroom situated much nearer to the toilet, canteen and lab.

Now that we're in a new place, a weird feeling creeps in me. We had fun this morning - laughing, taking pictures and doing other sorts of fun stuffs. Why do such fun moments never seem to appear when we were much free, I mean during our Form 4? Everytime I grin, something else passes through my mind. SPM.

Life in Form 5 is (one of) the most beautiful moments in my life so far. To balance the fun and effort would be a sweet success from now on.

Back to chemistry notes. Good night.

With Only 57 Days Left

...life is getting more dramatic. I thought everything was going to be fun - thinking that this path is diverging. However, it's sad to think that some bonds drift away without our realization. Towards the end of school life, I've discovered that I really can't walk this path without camaraderie.

Recently there are some misunderstandings between people around me and I think it involves me as well, although I'm not involved at all in the drama. Honestly, it's sad. When it happens so close to me, now I understand certain songs that say "I want to know but I don't want to ask". Certain confessions do cause a wreckage in a friendship built so long. What a waste. All the funny moments spent now seems meaningless. Well that is what's happening between two of my friends at school. And I feel like I'm dragged into this crap. Hey people, c'mon! I'm innocent!

My 2nd trial exam is coming soon. This is more important right now compared to the trivial matters around me which is none of my business.

Yesterday we had a replacement class. The great part was the basketball game lol. I feel the pain in my muscles right now. What else can I say? The game looked more like a rugby game.

You see, the drama is going on. Will I endure in this situation till the end? Idk. The 10 subjects are of the utmost importance. I don't need dramas. Just act around me, I don't care. Go on.

As usual, nobody is going to understand this post. I purposely made the sentences sound confusing.

This Holiday is Killing Me

I miss school :(

I have a lot of EST homework, but I don't know where and how to start.

I want to revise, but distractions are everywhere.

Nights and mornings are so cold. I thought they said the Earth is getting warmer.

I need to go to school.

Counting the Days

It's coming towards the end of August. At this point, there are a lot of mixed feelings inside me. Next month will be the month to observe more, listen more, think more and feel more - because I'm coming towards my final days of school years in less than just 90 days to go.

I know the moments will get more exciting, more emotional, more intense and most important of all they're sure going to be the most memorable period in my school life. It happens every year. When it comes to the end of the year, I will have a totally different feeling from what I thought of in the beginning of the year. Jokes get funnier, bonds get closer and ordinary small things make me think big.



I'm ready for the weeks and months to come. Even though this path is diverging, it doesn't mean that the memories will be gone.

Reasons to Smile (Today)

God's blessings are in all sorts of ways. Maybe sometimes we overlook on the small things which can make us smile, maybe sometimes we're just lazy to think much about the beauty of blessings we receive everyday.

There are a lot of reasons to make me smile, grin and laugh today.

During our English Language lesson we had a great time singing "Waka Waka" accompanied by two pieces of guitars. Till now, that song is still ringing inside my head. Gab and Arbut played the guitars, Ghee Seng singing cheerfully, the other boys followed, we girls waved our hands and followed throughout the chorus. I felt disappointed that we didn't record it, we just wished we could. Words can never reflect the atmosphere of that moment. I felt something, something hard to explain - :') Thank you very much, Miss Roseline for today's English lesson. It was totally unforgettable.

I brought my guitar (for the second week now) to play during ISCF. There were another three pieces of guitar so it was more lively. Plus, the other girl (who I don't know what her name is) played so far beyond my ability. She's really awesome~ After that, we had a brief talk about 'blessings' so that pretty much explains why my intro of this post starts like that :)

Then, there was the scorching sun. 1.45 pm sitting at the canteen, plus without even taking an afternoon bath is something torturing, I have to admit. Sleepy, hungry, bored and all sorts of feelings mixed inside my mind. However, one thing for sure was that I admired the things around me today. The bright sky, the beautiful fluffy clouds, everything was beautiful. After a short while, one of my friends spotted Cikgu Paul (our Sivik teacher) - he was standing so far from us that we all denied it was him. After a brief argument, off we went to see him. Obviously, it was really him.

Our job was to replant the grass to another location situated in front of Blok 8, that's metres and metres away from Blok 3. The glamour name of this job: KERJA TAMAN, sometimes we just get it mixed up with "Kerja Amal" but who cares. It wasn't an easy job to do. If you're not sweating it means that you weren't even there. I have pretty much evidence to say that it wasn't easy. Not all of our classmates came. Many people try to avoid it.

Yet, there are blessings in such activity. We were exhausted, our faces did turn red, our hands do hurt but in turn, we had a memorable moment. A great one. There were intervals between work, jokes, work, photo-taking, work and so on and so forth. Cikgu Paul brought along his DSLR camera. We took gazillions of group photos with backgrounds of nature, one photo had our beloved Blok 8 as the background (I suggested so, and the teacher seemed to like my idea). Ah, you know that I dream of a DSLR camera. Photography is awesome.

There were "kangaroo jokes", "geng pongkes" etc. I am sure the boys will upload our photos soon on FB. Then I think I'll put some here ;)

Today, I've learnt a lot of lessons. No matter what kind of person I'll be tomorrow, no matter where I'll end up after schooling, I will never ever forget this day. For I have a lot of reasons to smile today :) [Aww, I'm being melancholic].

Thank you, LORD.

Hypocrisy

[I wrote this yesterday, 8th July 2010, 2.00pm]

Situation 1: Some people in the class were talking bad about A. Then not even an hour later, you saw them saying "hi" to A with a friendly smile.

Situation 2: C and D were gossiping about A. You went online that same day and logged in to Facebook . Then, you saw C commenting on A's status with a very friendly manner as if C likes A.


I bet these two situations are very common in our lives. I've encountered such things almost everyday. It's weird how people can act as if they didn't say anything bad (behind) the same person they passed by and said "hi" to. It's scary if you think too much about it. However, I find that hypocrisy is a fun thing sometimes. Consider this situation:

Situation 3: A class of 30+students were inside the computer lab (without a teacher). As you know, it's an enclosed room with air-conds so no matter how loud you talk, people outside won't hear you (I guess so). Back to the situation. One of the students, (let me call him G *bukan nama sebenar) was asking the whole class about their opinion regarding the planned class t-shirt. Everyone (not really) was on top of their voices arguing on the colour. Some were 'skiing' on the slippery tiled-floor (which is so fun to do).
Suddenly, the saw a shadow on the windows. G quickly said "Okay, case closed!" although the discussion wasn't even over yet! Everybody returned to their respective seats. One or two persons held their books (as if they were diligently reading). In a blink of an eye, the class turned silent. The teacher came in. They stood up, saying "Good morning, teacher!" with a mischievous smile on their faces.

Now you see, hypocrisy really is fun in certain situations.
We pretty much practise hypocrisy, don't we?? XD

A Great Day to be Remembered!

Today is just awesome! School was great till the final bell, I enjoyed myself a lot today and it seems that I've forgotten all the tiredness I had during the start of the week.

First of all, two of our teachers didn't enter the class - so after some reading (and I felt bored of reading after some time) I decided to play Bingo with Epi. That sure have brought back good memories to us. It's been ages since I had my last Bingo game. We managed to attract other friends to join - Dila, Harvie, Mav~ haha, but after a while I felt bored too :D

I had photo-taking sessions for BM Club and Volleyball Club, so I wasn't really in the class after that. Angela and me then went straightly to the koperasi for recess - haha because there was a MEGA sale. My school's koperasi is the best in the world! It's like a mini hypermarket for the students. You can't even move or drag your feet when you are in the crowd.

This is the best part of today: FIRE DRILL! For me, this stuff is really a good memory to be remembered during my final year at this school. I mean, wow, for 5 years here..I can't believe that today's the first time we had a fire drill. The atmosphere was great! :")

Again, I came for ISCF today, but there's a difference in me. I brought along my guitar. I played. I sang, I felt the spirit in me. I was shaking- today I am no more a bedroom guitarist. I am officially not a lonely guitarist anymore. With my minimum skills (I didn't say that, Cikgu Lily did) :D I played 3 songs in front of 30+ people. I will continue to do so and I'm sure I will improve for God has given me this potential (Thanks to Cikgu Lily for her encouraging words).

So now, shall you excuse me for a while. I NEED to spend 30 minutes in front of the TV to watch Slam Dunk.

(Really) Fast Update

First of all, I am not on-lining for fun.

Add Maths Project work leaves a huge impact in my brain. I feel the stresssssss of doing this kind of stuff which I pretty much enjoyed during my junior secondary days. Yeah, the folio days.

Okay, so my project work is pretty much 65% completed. I missed my evening nap. I'm here in front of the laptop just browsing stuffs of Add Maths. Well, now I realise the Internet has its own advantages after all.

School has been great the past few days. A lot of laughter and jokes after 3 weeks not seeing each other. My worries for Mid - Year Exam has ended, all of the papers have been returned. As usual my lowest mark still goes to Add Maths and ironically my highest mark goes to Maths. My English essay was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It turned out that my teacher liked the story hahaha. I fact my English marks was better than my BM marks.

I played basketball last Monday - something I really wanted to do after all the days of cramming. Now that the MYE has passed, I have a greater agenda next. Trials on August. Let's just wait and see - and give out the best too.

As I said just now, this is a really fast update.

Accelerating

Don't you think time is accelerating? It's coming towards the end of April and this month really did teach me how to manage my time in some sort of a special way.

Deadlines. They didn't really make me neither dead (literally) nor stressed out, in fact I grew up a lot this month. I learnt NOT to nap from 2 to 5 pm, I learnt how to show a keen interest in Additional Mathematics, I experienced my first time camping and sleeping in a crammed tent. I dealt with PEKAs and oral tests and memorising this and that. THIS is the true meaning of school life, I guess!

Big things happen in April.
- Kem Kepimpinan Pengawas
The experience of being blindfolded at night is second to none. Thanks to my 1st experience of camping

- Pertandingan Forum Remaja
Memorising was not that fun but the experience is the best part!

- Class photo
Formal pose and crazy pose. I enjoyed them both ^____^

- Last Songkran was my birthday ^__^


So I guess my studies and spirit of studying should accelerate too by now.
A year older, a year wiser. Hopefully.

Summary of the Week

First of all, Language Month 2010 was great - and in fact it has always been great since I was in Form 1. I hate the fact that this is my final year in school. So next year there will not be any such thing as "language month" in my life.

I'm trying to limit my time on the PC so I'm going to think extra fast on what I should say today. School seems to be not so tiring this week, probably I'm already used to the busy routine of "the daily marathon" - I think I walk hundreds of kilometres in just one morning.

UK I is going to be on next Thursday.

Bring it on!

Public Speaking Competiton 2010

...for the language month in my school.

If you thought that I was representing my school, that would be a great joke. Until now, I just can't fight my nervousness. My hands were damn shaking and I just can't stop it. How I wish I had enough confidence.

...And I guessed I've chosen the wrong topic. Everyone was talking about huge stuffs such as pollution, smoking, this and that with all sorts of statistics, but my script seems to be the odd one out. I have to say it was actually quite boring and lame.

However...it's not just about winning that you want to join a competition. The participation is most of the time much more important. That's what Mr. W said. Yep, I love stuffs like this because the truth is, I am challenging myself indirectly to face this some sort of challenge. In simpler words, I don't want to run away from things like this. I want to face it. I also wanted to see how much confidence have I gained after all this while. The answer to my question is: I'm still the same. I've not improved yet in terms of confidence. My ears felt like burning. I just don't know why certain people can really relax without feeling nervous.

I was the 5th contestant out of 14. I didn't gain any position. (Haha) and I'm actually betul-betul laughing to myself right now. If you know who I am, I'm sure that you know how optimistic am I. I love competitions because it teaches us how to accept defeat. I don't mind, really, because the winners deserved it. They were awesome! My classmate, Su Nyuk, got 2nd place and I'm proud that at least a person from my class was able to cover malu for the other Form 5 contestants. [Giggling].

So that pretty much sums up my day today. A lovely Thursday, I have to say.

...and this is one of the factors making it such a lovely Thursday :p

It's Friday!

Finally here comes another Friday.

Things didn't get so cool in school. Fortunately I was able to cope with all of those trivial things. I have to admit it's tiring. It feels like it's never ending. Climbing up the stairs to the 3rd floor five days in a week for a few times a day is enough to burn my calories. The rest, I'm sure you know about it. Yes, it's tiring, but I always say to myself. THIS is the TRUE meaning of going to school. Yeah! (Now that sounds funny to me).

I joined ISCF again today. Something that I missed for about one and a half year. I'm glad that I did so. I find peace in mind and new hopes. In one hour, my anger, my already-composed-in-my-head blog post about how I feel cranky and angry about X, completely vanished. Mr. Song is excellent in sharing God's words. He's one of the teachers who I truly admire.

Jamming in the class was great, eventhough later there was an interruption. I sang my voice out for Suci Dalam Debu, who cares if my fellow classmates think that I'm gila. It's just too fun that I can't resist to do so.

The best thing about today is the jualan koperasi or so-called mega sale! Oh you never know how much I love the food there.

That sums up my Friday for this week.

...and oh, have I told you that I'll have to go to school tomorrow?
This adventure seems to be endless.

[In the mood of listening to Endless Love, the best English song ever!]

Too Stressed...Too Serious

Not me.
At least I'm (almost) perfectly happy (at this moment). [Yeah, like in Skunk's song, "Stench"].

A really challenging week, I have to say. Gah~ I don't know how long will I make it or even survive in this situation. Now I think Endure in Silence is all about complaints regarding someone being too serious. No, I would not like that to happen. However, sadly, I don't know to who should I express these thoughts and opinions. Express it to a friend in school, people will say I'm gossiping. Keep it in my head, I'll surely be insane. So here I am.

(After taking a plate of rice + chicken curry).

Now allow me to continue. "That person" is too serious. Extremely. I don't know what to do.

Ah, just forget about it.
I don't want to end up having a bad relationship with this person.
It's just the way "that person" is.
How I hope "that person" takes some time to relax. It's not that difficult to do so.

We're just 17. That's what matters most.

[What a very unhealthy lifestyle, eating in front of the pc].