Day 271

I really want to write an article describing "How does it feel to be a failure."

We see too much of "How to be rich" and "How to be successful" books in bookstores. Seriously. And no one effing knows how does it feel like to really flunk an exam. 

That's why we created a society that's afraid of failure, no matter how many motivational failure-related pictures we share on facebook. That's why we created a society of insensitive old women and men who look down on kids who fail. That's why we became bitter persons when we fail.

Because we are a society who glorifies richness, big cars, and titles in front of our birth names. We are the ones who share gloriously on how God has "paid back" our goodness with cash and happy lives. We never want to talk of failure as a good thing. We never want to say it's a God-given thing, because it clearly is not.

Who's going to speak for the ones who failed if we often equate God with success? 

Oh I forgot. 

This world isn't for failures. It's a place for successful people. That's why we learned about natural selection. The weak dies and gets wiped off. 

And unless you came out of this world and landed straight into a platinum-coated bed, you gotta work your ass off and never ever rest and let your guard down. And always remember you're not as smart as you think you are, and you have to spend all the time you got by studying everytime you know you should be studying. Because trust me, I swayed away from my own principle and now I face the consequences. The one who told you that you can handle it all will never know the pain you feel when you reach the end and clearly messed up your own life.

So you really still don't know how does it feel, don't you? 

I can summarise it all. It makes you feel so stupid that you never really knew your own capabilities to know that you could have always said "No" when you knew you're incapable. Some doctrines are not worth following. I know it's not worth it because 271 days have passed and I still can't get over it, out of so many things I have gotten rid of, this is the only thing that keeps on haunting me.