#6 I Wrote a Song Called 'Flowers'

I wrote a song. The inspiration came on the 7th of April, but I spent some time figuring out the rest of the lyrics.

I'm still slightly disappointed that the other song, about the man on the bus, still remains hanging. It's funny that as we grow older, we tend to get more critical of our own works and ideas. Back in 2010 to 2012, when I was actively writing songs, I still remember being so proud of writing them. When I listen to those songs these days, I cringe so hard. I'm still glad that I wrote them, but I often wonder where on earth did I get the courage to post and share them in the first place? Doing so these days is actually very hard. Especially when you see peers who can sing better, or produce songs more professionally. And sometimes I think songwriting really is a childish hobby. But art, in general, are all childish anyway.

You gave me a smile 

of a schoolboy

chatting with his friend

in front of the school gate 

when classes end

life begins

but innocence remains

And maybe you've given me

a heart of a schoolboy too

cos I don't have a clue

why I'm singing for you

out of the blue 

this song was written for you

Well you're a flower

that I'll never get to pick 

in this lifetime

and there's no trick

I can use to make you mine

I'm out of my mind

I'm out of my mind

But who needs flowers anyway?

Don't need to pick them to see them all day

and one day if they go away

remember flowers die anyway

My schoolboy smile will remain

like a flower in the rain

it'll blossom again

it'll blossom again

Tell me I'm not insane

I'm not insane

And my schoolboy heart

will still flutter in the wind

and my hands, oh 

tell me they're not trembling

Is time stopping?

or is it spinning?

Cos you're a flower 

in the garden

of a better person

Your voice is like sweet tea

while I'm a can of coffee

I'm bitter like coffee

I'm bitter like coffee

But who needs flowers anyway?

I can just see you from far away

"Let them go if you love them", they say

Cos in the end it'll all fade away

Cos in the end it'll all fade away

Cos in the end innocence

will fade away

What am I trying to say?

So basically, in early April I had the quote about plucking/picking(?) flowers lingering in my mind. Oh, you know that quote about how if you love a flower you better just let it grow. 

And on 6th April, as usual, my bus passed by the gate of St. Joseph where there was this boy, (I don't even remember his face now), he was sitting with his friend there, and he had this purest, happiest smile I've ever seen on a schoolboy, and I was left with the thought that damn it, one day that teenager will grow up, face the real world, and he'll lose his innocence. He won't be having that same chance of sitting in front of his school gate with his friend, having a casual conversation, smiling so broadly, so free from the realities of life.

Then I quickly associated it with the youthful innocence of infatuation, of liking someone, thinking that we're actually loving them, and the heartbreak that comes with every feeling of that love we feel, and how our hands tremble when we see them. Infatuation, or crushing, or falling in love. at any age, gosh, they make you feel like a schoolboy once again. 

So this song was written.

With someone in my mind, of course. 

But I know that it's only short-lived, and I know how to control it, and that's the beauty of emotions. You feel them, and you produce art out of them. 

Pergh, philosophical gilaaaa.