#10 Incoherent Ramblings

Currently listening to: Coming Home by Gavin James.

This is an unplanned blog post. 

I'm just here because I'm too lazy to start doing my assignments. I'll be back to school next Monday and I'm certainly not liking it. I mean...classes aren't that bad. But when was the last time I entered a classroom with the same excitement of entering a library? There's clearly something wrong about this 'learning' and 'educating' thing that we're doing.

But whatever. I should be thankful that at least I'm in college. I just sometimes wish we did not have to get a qualification to feel qualified enough. Don't get me started. I'll end up ranting.

Anyway I've made an impulsive decision a few days back and I'm feeling nervous about it. Excited, but nervous. And I still don't quite know what I'm supposed to feel, but I guess it's OK. In the end we will regret more on the things we didn't do, I guess.

I've successfully read Norwegian Wood and I still can't move on to another book. Right now there's a huge pile of books that I'm thinking of starting next but I've read some pages and gave up. 

Things are going well in the guitar department either. I've decided that I don't want to be a YouTube fingerstyle guitarist any longer. I mean, damnit, what's the point of forcing myself into something. I'd rather teach myself how to play new arrangements for the sake of learning than for the sake of uploading it to gain views. So yeah, I've dropped the ambition to get endorsed and all those shit. Writing songs are more enjoyable. And expressive. I'd do that forever even when no one's watching.

I'm getting freaked out again though. I mean it's the time of the semester where everything gets suffocating with assignments and presentations keep on coming. I've learnt that I'm not really good at handling unpredictable schedules and things that pop up all at once. You get what I mean? I'm kinda like that organised old woman who needs to see the timeline of things, the huge picture, write down all the deadlines, plan which one goes first...yet I still freak out. And I still procrastinate. 

Aite so what else have been happening...? Nothing really. And that's why I've made my impulsive decision. My heart yells yolo but my brain keeps on stopping me from chilling. I think I really need a break. I haven't really taken a real break. O wait, it's not that college is tiring. It's not. In fact I have the most relaxed schedule. But I'm in need of an adventure, something to accomplish before I get older. I don't know why I feel the need to explain things to people, but really, I think I deserve some fun. We'll see how things go.