Three weeks of doing nothing
equals to 21 days saying "oh no!"
After days and nights guitar-ing
I realise there's just another 3 (and a half) weeks to go..
Another failed attempt of writing a ermm..poem? After blogwalking I suddenly thought of writing something today..something that I'll be able to read in the future that records what have I done during my first semester holidays. You see, all these while I've been over-focusing on writing things that don't reflect what I do at all. No ramblings like I used to do (a lot) before college life. I somehow miss the time when I was a crazy kid, participated more in class, writing almost everything that I experienced in school (not here but in my journal of course), those days when I worry less but seem to be genius enough to not study all day..those days when people called me Fee instead of my real name..and the days I acted lame most of the time...
This holiday I feel the need to recover to my own self. Looking back, actually I didn't really be myself last semester. I'm more than what people see. The truth is, I've been trying to hard to be as good as others last sem, and I only notice about this fact when I'm here at home. It hurts. I see too many people with amazing personalities and it sucks when I think I want to be like them. It doesn't make me any better, it just made me lose confidence even more than before.
I've also realised that people with a high level of confidence don't really think of what others think of them. Or maybe they don't think too much (or probably feel too much). And living this life with a lot of uncertainties in relationships and friendships is quite torturing.
ARGHHHH WHY AM I SO EMO?
Gah. Now I think I should start to recall what have I done for the past three weeks. It's so unbelievable that I have only another 3.5 weeks of relaxing. At first it was quite difficult to adapt to home (I kept on comparing things here with Akasia until my sister became so fed up of listening). However it's magnificent (or err...terrible?) to see that old habits seem to arise again and discipline deteriorates very easily. Very very easily.
Guitar-ing has become funner that ever before with the callus growing back on my fingers. Woohoo. Gone were the days when pressing the fretboard made me feel like a beginner once more. Honestly, before I leave this world, there are three things (related to guitar) I would love to achieve, 1. Jam on a rooftop. 2. Jam with a friend or a bunch of guitar enthusiasts, novice or intermediate I don't care..it's the passion that matters most. 3. Buy an electric guitar. A cheap, fake one would do well, but if I become rich, Fender Strat, Gibson Les Paul and Gretsch something ( I don't know the specific name of model but it looks like this:)
*atempt to upload picture failed*
Arghhh I was actually about to upload some pictures and write less, but what to do..I've been trying for more than an hour =='' ...and now it's raining cats and dogs in Kuching yo! Reminds me of the lazy days of walking out for dinner during the study leave in you-know-where.
Basically I've forgotten on what to say after wandering to YouTube, so yeah, till we meet again in another chapter. Astalavista baby.
Eh wait -- after googling, I found out it's supposed to be...hasta la vista, baby.
o.O
