August

Oh boy I couldn't believe I didn't even write a single thing here for nearly two months. It feels so good. It feels so much better to stop relying on my blog and start talking to real people more even if it's only through the Internet. 

The past two months haven't been easy but I'm thankful I have good music to listen to, a friend who talks to me daily, a sister who drives for me because I still can't drive, a place to keep me busy, so yeah, I guess my life feels like moving all over again after a very long pause.

I'm officially a Passenger fan now (a.k.a a 'Passenger'), especially after Mike replied to me. You know after all that I've been through, it feels surreal that I can feel so much happiness in the past month. It makes me so glad that I didn't take my own life last year. It's true that I'm still dealing with all sorts of insecurities but I no longer have the the thoughts of harming myself and I hope it stays that way long enough so I can enjoy the beauty of life and write more songs and hopefully live long enough to see Passenger live.

I want to stop living to please people and try too hard for people like me. I no longer care if I lose friends just because I'm not smart enough, or not holy enough, not Christian enough, or because I once flunked in my life. It's easier that way. I've learnt to let go so many things and now I can say that I'm happier compared to the last time I blogged here. I hope I stay happy long enough.

So yeah, that pretty much sums up everything that I've been up to. I no longer think the world needs my explanation about what happens to me. The world doesn't owe me anything so likewise, I don't need to explain to anybody about anything or prove to anybody about what I can do and cannot do. 

Right now I just got to learn to stop procrastinating and everything will be fine...

and I also need to save up some money in case Passenger will really have an Asian tour...