#1 Haircut

So my first post for this year is going to be about my visit to the salon, which, well, was also what I did only back in 10 weeks ago.

This one, though, is kind of important. Yknow, like one of those extraordinary historical moments in your life, worth blogging about, worth written down on your diary, worth remembering..

...said no one ever. Except for me, cos, well, yknow, I love myself too much sometimes.

Anyway..

So it all started during my finals, probably because I was bored. Or, yknow, a friend said it's a sign of confidence, me not studying, spending time reading fiction and all that. Don't get me wrong, the papers weren't that easy. But yknow, I didn't study that hard either. Some things have changed.

I can't point out exactly when did the phrase pixie cut enter the faculties of my brain...but boy, I spent all the time I had Googling for the pros and cons of having a pixie cut.

And I actually wrote it in my lifelist as "get a boyish haircut" but I didn't take it seriously, of course.

So the night before my last paper I was like, come on, #YOLO, let's do this for real.

And then just having the thought of it freaked me out after a few hours of making that decision.

I asked the opinion of some friends, my mum, my sister, my cat, no not really, and everyone seemed to be saying yeah you should cut your hair but we ain't gonna be held responsible for anything hun. No, not really. A friend even suggested that I should dye it as well.

And then so many people got their hair cut. And then this one friend also got a pixie cut the day after I met her! And I was like that's it! YOLOOO! I gotta be brave too!

Then I showed a picture to my mum as an example. And she said "Ooohh that's like ___'s daughter's hairstyle!" and I was like..

Omg. You're right. This is going to be awkward.

Because _____'s daughter is a fellow altar server in church, a position which I also serve in since only about a month? So it's like omg what if people think that yknow, I like her, so I'm getting the same haircut as her?

And then I suddenly remember about a person who I kinda used to meet every week last month and she also has a pixie cut and I'm like what if I happen to still see her this month and what if she thinks I like her, hence I got this haircut? 

Then I started to freak out.

It was beginning to mess up my life to the point that last night I dreamt that I went to the salon and the hairdresser actually said "no, hun, I don't know how to cut this hairstyle, but if you trust me, I can try" and I woke up feeling so uneasy with the thought of it.

But then last night I began to think that enough is enough and I gotta scream YOLO so I told my mum that this is it, I'm doing it first thing tomorrow morning.

So I marched into the salon and showed the screenshots on my phone to the hairdresser, and she was like "ok, ok, uhuh, yeah" like yknow, like she's saying "I got this hun, uhuh, this is easy" and I wasn't even mentally ready yet when a short sharp noise passed the back of my head like zzzzzzpp

And I felt the strands of my hair, so black, so heavy, all falling down behind me and I was like

dios mio.

Is this the real life.

Or is this fantasy.

Then I was like, ok, there ain't no turning back, hun.

Good thing is that my short-sightedness is so so so veryy extremely terrible and that I had to take off my specs when she was cutting my hair, so yeah, I didn't exactly see myself and the gradual change that happened to my face as she snipped snipped snipped.

When everything was done I was like oh gawd what did I do to myself.

Then the hairdresser started giving some exaggerated praises and I was like oh stop it you and then I was like hmmmm this ain't that bad.

So I went back home feeling lighter and took like a thousand selfies because this doesn't happen so frequently in my lifetime. I should've done this earlier, yknow, like why on earth did I cut my hair that way in Intec. I should've cut it this way.

As I bathed this evening I was like having so much fun doing stupid stuffs with my hair (I also did a mohawk like Jeremy Lin in the bathroom hahaha) and yasss I gotta say this again,

It's so light, so convenient, so liberating!

I do fear though that I might appear more boyish and I dread going to college to start my new sem and also going to the library to return my books really soon. It's not that I care so much about what others think, but I don't know what the hell is causing me to worry. But behind that fear I feel like laughing because darn it, who would've known that idk man, I don't only feel lighter physically.

Suddenly I remember those girls who told me I walk like a boy in Form 1 and suddenly I think of my incapability of wearing girly clothes and I'm like, yknow, pardon my language, feck it. This haircut is the real me. I'm tired of people telling me I gotta be more girly. I've been hearing it all my life. And it's like yknow, I'm as girly as you girls out there. I just don't like girl stuffs. 

My dad was like quiet and told me I look like a policewoman and I was like hahaha dad. Idk but maybe he's beginning to think I don't like men but hey dad I like men. I just haven't found the right one, whatever that means.

So yeah, it's been a good day, and a good stuff to blog about as my first post for 2016. It's not that there's a huge difference though because I never really let go of my long hair before this. But it's a huge step for myself because I've never had a hair this short. Hence the need to write a blog post about it, yknow. Forgive me for the vanity.

More adventures await! I actually can't wait to do all of the stuffs that I'm so afraid of. The feeling is so liberating once you realise there's actually nothing so terrifying about it.