#15 Bus Journals

Now I'm kind of regretting the fact that I didn't start a proper bus journal. Not that it would be a grand idea, but these days I just feel that I've lost some good lessons I should've jotted down from the start. 

So now I'm finding all the chance to record each tiny detail because wow, I don't know man. STC buses have been around since forever. What if they're going to be gone in a matter of years?

And because instablogging is kinda weird (people post their best pics on instagram, while I post short blogposts lol) and posting short essays about buses as status updates on facebook is going to make more people unfriend me, I guess the best outlet is thespeechlessdustbin because yeah baby, you either stay or leave and I don't actually really care if I'm babbling all by myself here.

Here's some pictures of today:

It was so sunny at Jalan Masjid lol.

Then suddenly it rained at Batu 7. 

I find it funny because I'm too easily amused these days. On other evenings if I hop on other buses it almost never rains. I wish I was making this story up but dios mio, this is the 10th consecutive rainy evening I had with the exact same bus and bus driver.

Today's been a pleasant ride because nobody was invading my personal space (rule no 1, no one should sit next to you, or on the row directly behind you and in front of you if there are other empty seats around.) Of course this doesn't count if the bus is full. I never really mind sharing seats even with guys. Heck, they pay for the fare too. And not all guys are creeps. Some are just tired and need a seat just like you. Most are actually harmless. 

It rained heavily as I said and there's a blind man on the bus today. He struggled to shut the window. I helped him and shut the other windows as well. I sound like I'm karma-whoring lol but please, hold on. Listen to me. These past few days have been tough and I really don't feel like I matter to some people. 

But when I saw the blind man, I felt this selfish happiness inside me. The kind of happiness knowing the fact that I still have a function in society. And when I hopped off the bus and said thank you to the driver, I felt so good because I said something that I should be saying more to people. The point is, I marvel at the fact that when we do these little things is it really that we're doing it for people or are we doing it for ourselves?

Which brings me to the next thought. All these bus rides I'm addicted to..they're all selfish addictions. And that's just weird. 

Deep inside, I know all I want to do is to spread positivity. But the satisfaction I get from it, I don't really understand. Isn't that when you do something to someone, you're not supposed to really feel good about yourself? 

Deep down I know it's not about me. But again, after all these dark days, I bring myself back again and again to hop on buses a for this sole reason. It makes me feel alive.

But isn't that a selfish act?

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