I Feel Like Blogging Today

I'm getting lazy again although actually I have some things to blog about. Yeah, everyday is like usual - sleeping during the oddest hours, being an owl every night...my biological clock is soooo cacat-ed right now.

I hope I'll be able to adapt myself well and change back to normal when I continue my studies. I guess this holiday is damaging my brain cells. Eh wait, I am the one who's damaging my own brain cells.

Everyone is moving forward with their life now. I'm currently writing a song about my previous entry, "Moving Forward, Looking Back". Lacking inspiration right now. I can't even sit in front of my study table to think/read/do nothing for more than 15 minutes now. Bad sign.

It is actually so embarrassing to think that my blog is dying each and every day. I don't have the mood to blog anymore. For the sake of updating, here, let me share some latest pics from my 2.0MP handphone camera. Laugh.

I call this photo: Uncertainty

I have a vision. Haha. Lame.

PHEWs and Heart Attacks

I will survive

APRIL is the month of heart attacks. You don't believe me? Well, when is the month that makes you feel relieved, then a week later, worried, then the cycle just can't stop. I seriously hate this feeling. It's deceiving my mental state.

Next week I bet I'll be having another heart attack after this afternoon I can slightly whisper a phew~ I do pray that the heart attack will be a good one. Wait, since when is a heart attack categorized as good? Yes, it can be good. A good shock. A good heart attack. Sounds synonymous.

Aha. (or ngahaha - I'm sooo in the mood of using this word).

Tweets on Blog

For some reason, twitter is cool, but isn't it weird if I tweet a lot when no one is reading? Like...when I have a few followers and my account is private. It's funny. Yep, I'm referring to myself :D

That's why I love Facebook - because when you type out what's on your mind? there is a higher probability that people (I mean friends?) will like your status or even leave a comment. Attention seeker? Probably.

However, I still love my blog because it's my own space. I can write anything without even caring whether there are readers or not. Whether people love it or not. And most importantly, (I don't know what else to say now).

DO NOT INTERRUPT ME

These are the things I'd probably tweet about if I was a Twitter freak:

• Revisited the school. For the second time in this month aha.
• "Don't worry, teacher. I love this school". Well, I am not lying :D
• As time comes ticking by I start to realise there's nothing left to do, but turn my back and walk away from you :( - Silly Fools, "Enough".
• After 4 months of holiday, I think I've developed ADHD. Can't concentrate.
• I'm getting lazy to blog. Life is getting busier lately.

Now please allow my to sleep. Good night.

p/s: don't get me wrong, I was studying about something just now and decided to sneak into blogger muahaha (lame excuse).

Growing Up

WAKE UP! You're old already!

A year ago, I was a Form 5 student. A student who didn't think much of SPM. A student who finally had her first experience attending a prefects' camp. A student who didn't receive a lot of birthday wishes on Facebook.

Two years ago, I was an ignorant kid. Form 4 life was miserable without any close friends to share secrets and laughter.

Three years ago, (sorry I can't remember anything starting from this timeline).

............

EIGHTEEN years ago, I said hello to the world.

Well today is just another day. No birthday bashes, no candles, no my-super-sweet-18 with a bunch of intoxicated friends, no Ferrari as a birthday gift. Just wishes and kisses. I mean a kiss. On the cheek. From..................my mummy XD

A lot of things start to happen this month. I can feel that now's the time to really start growing up. In just a few months time, I believe I will be far away from home. Or will I? Who cares, I better prepare an early mindset.

I hate that this fun and 100% relaxing time is almost over. I've been sooo used to this lifestyle. If you ask me, actually I don't want to grow up. The future is so scary to think of. (So it looks like I better don't think about it). But I have to.

I have to say that I'm very grateful today. Thank You, LORD for my family, my teachers, my friends and everyone who helped me (and will be helping me) throughout the process of growing up. Receiving very sincere birthday wishes from friends make me feel that I am not alone after all. Although some people (who are close to me) did forget this date, I guess it's OK. Maybe they're just shy to voice it out. Maybe they're shy to say that they love me. I know they didn't forget.

Life is beautiful. Behind those uncertainties, there are good things to put in mind. Tomorrow will be fine, as long as there is camaraderie. When you know there are people who love you, you know everything will be just fine. I must walk this path. Yes, I am growing up. And I am not walking this path alone.

EDIT: yes candles :P

Talking vs. Writing

When talking, there is no turning back. Once you've said it, you cannot erase it. There are two options: to feel proud of what you've said, or to feel embarrassed. Talking is not my favourite thing to do. But I cannot run away from talking.

Today I have managed to fight my fear. I faced it instead of running away and I won't regret anything.

WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? The "you-know-what". I did some blogsearch yesterday and found hundreds of people blogging about their experiences. I'd rather choose to keep mine in my personal diary :) The written one, because it will have more sentimental value lol.

I guess that's all I want to tell here. I need some sleep after the nerve-wrecking moment. Hyperbole yea HAHA.

I Want This!

Not the guys, the T-shirts. The guy in white also can..if it comes free >.<

LOOK.AT.THAT. I want one to show-off!!!

I've been good last year. I haven't receive any prizes yet from anyone. Whoever can give me these will be remembered forever in my thoughts and dreams. Chewah.

I know it's impossible. Items in my wishlist are always impossible anyway.

Addicted

I has been 8 months since I've been clean from this "substance".
The addiction is coming back this April. I suddenly remembered about it more than I used to.
I can't stand it. Oh man, this is torturing.

I

want

one

........

Time flies. The last time I had this in school was before the SPM trials. I remember every detail about that moment clearly. Me, Eppy and Ann sat together at the last seat in the Add Maths room, right after recess. Mr. Pang was already in the class, plus some other students too. We didn't care, we just enjoyed it there. It's something nice to think about.

I'm a huge fan of this stuff. Used to buy it everytime whenthere was a jualan koperasi. I always bought 2 or 3 of them to be brought home (used to store them in the fridge and eat after dinner). One is normally to be eaten during recess. Only on Fridays.

This thing reminds me of Fridays, the crowd, the extra money I used to bring on Fridays, Add Maths class (lessons after recess), sardin gulung (always bought this too), guitar day (guys bring guitars on Fridays) and generally, schooldays.

and oh, hello April!