How Bad is Your Day?

Saw two kittens wrestling each other playfully minutes ago as I stood facing the balcony (is it supposed to be called a balcony?), gulping down ribena while enjoying the sunset in Akasia.

Made me smile..and realise that..

Life is..

cute.

But only if you take some time to stop and look around.

Anyway I'm here not to narrate on what happened to the kittens or my bottle of ribena. I just feel like telling something else.

To be honest, I'm glad I was away from any laptops or internet connection (or even 0.facebook via DiGi) etc. this morning, because if I had any of those, I would have posted something stupid, something emo, something so negative.

I'm feeling that I get annoyed pretty easily lately. This morning was not really bad, ah, it was bad, but frankly I didn't want to fall into depression, but I was told to be so, for that person said "You should be worried". What's even more discouraging is when a person questions your existence in a certain place, expressing his/her disbelief that you're in that particular place, while you yourself is still struggling to know your future directions.

Life is funny.

Why did I have to worry just because someone who doesn't even really know me, asked me to do so?

I didn't feel like smiling for the whole morning, but I had to as one of my friends suddenly mentioned "Smell the Rain" out of no where while there was no rain. Ouch. Reality struck me. Who was that person singing and strumming the guitar, asking for people to hold on and put a smile?

Was waiting for the 2pm class to begin when one friend approached me, saying something that woke me up even more. "I had a bad day", she said.

Ah, the irony. This, in turn, made me speak from A-Z about "don't worry, be happy", "relax", "it's going to be okay", "it's not your fault", etc. I was the one previously having a so-called bad day, and in an instant, I was the one uttering encouraging words.

It's funny..because it made me feel better too.

So...here's the thing. When you thought that you had a bad day, someone has an even worse day (In this case mine was worse but I managed to recover pretty fast lol). Secondly, I cannot expect myself to be happy all the time, but what's more important is to not fall into chronic emoness. Number three in the list, it's OK to tell someone you had a bad day, because you never know that that person might be having a worse day than yours, but as that person tries to encourage you, he/she will indirectly be encouraged to look on things the other way round.

..and I guess that's why God asked us to be constantly encouraging one another. We all need it, although we actually know very well of what to do if we face trials. Sometimes we choose  to forget on what's the right thing to do when trouble comes. That's when we need someone to remind us.

So how bad was your day?

Mine turned out pretty well, as I stayed in the library, exploring the books and acting nerdy. Managed to finish (jumped a few pages) of a simplified version of Charles Dicken's  David Copperfield. It was seriously good. One sad thing is that there are so many pretty good books in the library, but so little time to borrow and read all that you want.

Back to the topic, ah, I just can't help myself from smiling. I'm seriously thankful I wasn't on fb/blog/twitter this morning/afternoon!

Till we meet again in another chapter!

Wow

Going there..not expecting much..

It's not my nature to mix with people that I don't know.

..and it's my first time, meeting and mixing around people like them..

they're living with HIV/AIDS.

..yet we're pretty much the same.

As I sit in front of my laptop, connecting my words into a sentence, I could only think of one thing:

God has no favourites, he loves each and every one of us equally.

Came back from Crisis Home feeling blessed that we had this opportunity for such an eye-opening experience. Admit it, from the stories we hear around us, from all the scary so-called "facts", we pretty much have the fear of HIV/AIDS. Society view it as a death sentence. I used to think the same, but not anymore.

It only took a short while to realise that it is not a death sentence, as we listened to their testimonies and what they all shared. Their hope is found in God, and it's amazing to see their determination to move on and be a testimony and encouragement to others. 

I'm not good in expressing my feelings about these things, honestly. I'm actually very good in long, emo, full of complaints entries. But all I want to say is that I've been truly inspired to be more thankful as I see the smiles that they have. And it feels good when you can mix around, have a good time of fellowship together with the people that you've never really cared to think of before. 

It's amazing that God's love can change hearts.

Alive

I f someone asks me how am I this week, I wouldn't lie.

I would say that it's been an awesome week, despite the topic tests and the long long days.

I find contentment in the tiredness. What's the secret?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before I start to get personal, I want to clarify a few things.

Firstly, I feel it weird to know that there are actually people reading my blog, and those people are who I know and meet almost everyday. Because I treat this blog over the past few years more like a diary or scrapbook or whatever you classify it as , it's hard to break the habit. When I feel like I need to speak out personal matters, I just do it.

..and it's embarrassing most of the time.

Especially when I get emo one day and happy the other day.

Second thing, believe me (it's up to you to do so), most of the time I come out with a new entry, I'm actually talking to myself. 

...but of course I welcome readers. However sometimes I wish I don't know who my readers are. It's just that awkward feeling of wanting someone to know your thoughts but at the same time wishing that..that..that..

I dunno how to explain. So I will stop explaining. :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to the main thing.

Exactly one week ago I was away...in a land called far far away.

Of course I was just kidding.

...I was attending my first church camp ever. Because I've been sharing about too many emo stories, I strongly believe that this happy story deserves to be blogged about as well. 

but after thinking and thinking and thinking on how to blog about it in a not so personal way, I fail to think of any other alternatives. To cut it short, (because I still want to share but I don't want to share too much) it was an awesome weekend which opened my eyes...to not just sing about the beauty of life, but wake up every morning feeling refreshed, feeling loved, feeling...feeling...that actually I can do all things because He gives me strength! 

I've been suffering sleepiness in class ever since I came to this place. Most of the time I try hard to not fall asleep, because it's something that I really hate - dozing off in the middle of lectures is not cool man. Last sem, I tried various methods, including slapping both sides of my cheeks. (I'm not kidding this time). But you know what? It never worked, probably because I relied on my own strength and never asked.

This whole week I never forget to pray about it. Well it might sound funny to you, but believe me, I believe that in the past 5 days I never fell into chronic sleepiness in class because I prayed about it and God answers prayers. It might sound like something so small...but soon I realise the more I rely on Him for strength, the more He will help me through everything.

So now..the main thing is to keep on moving 1Up, which is something that I need to be reminded of occasionally I guess. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So how was this week? Ah, it's been just nice. Maths lecturer hasn't returned the paper which I screwed up in (I think), so I'm a bit happy that I slowly forgot about how awful I felt when I simply had to write anything that came across my mind. English writing test was fun, but waiting for the outcome is not fun. I liked the topic of arguing whether money can buy happiness. If I manage to get back the paper with a smile on my face, I'll share my essay here..because I said ow yeah wealth guarantees happiness. Now you're thinking that I'm insane. Thank you.

Chemistry test this evening was...(fill in the blank). I was struggling to answer the first few questions and time was so limited...and to make matters worse, the lecturer stood in front of my table, staring at my paper, probably waiting to see my silly answer :P So I lifted up my head. She got the signal, smiled, and walked away. Ow yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the whole week I've been saying that "Oh it's going to be a long day..", yet it's incredible that time was enough for everything. I'm hoping the same for next week.

Yes, I am busy. I have a Bio report still 15% not completed, I have a few chapters of Maths homework yet to be done, I haven't read my Bio and stuffs, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is waiting for me, my laundry is piling up...

and I dunno why I just can't stop blogging.

:D

Ethics class cancelled. I am indeed happy.

Don't really have time to talk much, so yeah...will blog about more stuffs soon.

Being Realistic, Being Optimistic

I need to say this out.

I cannot tahan ady.

Is optimism going to bring us far? How about being optimistic but not realistic? Sometimes we just fake that smile, say, oww yeahhh everything's gonna be okay but deep down we think everything is just too much to handle.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't even know how am I supposed to feel.

I am obviously caught in confusion.

It's hard when you don't even know your own feelings.

This is what happens when you get caught in between being happy and sad.

..and a Bio report is waiting for you.

and you've just screwed up your topic tests.

and you're searching for an off switch.

Don't get me wrong. I'm ok. I just don't want to be strong on the surface, but not all the way through. It's this that makes people feel inferior. When seeing others trying to act cool we feel like acting cool too, because problem with society, they'll say that being unhappy is wrong. They'll say that staying strong is how it's supposed to be. Hide your feelings. Weep alone.

Why are we deceiving ourselves?

You'll get to read these kind of entries when I can no longer endure in silence.

Feels Like..

You can complete the title for me, thanks.

I don't feel like talking.

But I just can't shut the voices in my heart. 

Life is funny. There's this sunny afternoon and suddenly you see a lightning, followed by a scary thunder.

Hold on, put a smile,

Life's too short, don't be so fragile.

Happiness is..

eating a packet of Milo on your bed without any worries that your mum will tell you that a colony of ants is going to pay you a visit.

..but..there are three consequences that I might suffer:-

1. Sore throat (again) if I forget to drink enough water after this.
2. Toothache if I forget to brush my teeth.
3. ..and a colony of ants paying me a visit, of course.

Moral of the story - 

Happiness is inevitable, even when you have topic tests ahead of you. Even when sometimes you feel that you just cannot breathe. Even when you start to miss your family.

Happiness is...

still there. You just can't avoid it.

XD

I dunno if they want it to be on YouTube, but ahahahaaa sorry guys!! XP

..and yeah I know the reason why I'm sharing this.

..because the piano sounds beautiful. :)

Uh?

I just wanna have fun.
..and I write songs based on the same reasons why I blog.

To express myself..

and I somehow wanna write songs that can make people smile. Not there yet, but will continue doing this.

and I guess it's important to get the reasons right first before everything...

and I know the reasons why I wrote this and shared this.

Enjoy. :)