Hey, Hey It's Fine

Every single day I just can't stop thinking what kind of monster I have become and I can't just tell myself that "Hey, hey, it's fine."

I mean...who would have thought that being bad is actually not easy.

I tried being good once. It was hard. So I thought being bad is easier.

It's not. It's so hard to live with guilt. It's harder than being trampled on for being nice.

2014 is ending soon and I still can't figure a single good thing that I've done this year. Makes me sad that I wasted one whole year by hurting so many people around me, and I wish I had the guts and humility to say sorry.

But no, I'm too proud to admit I was being an ass unpleasant person.

Day 39476970. Still feeling guilty about the college incident. Still not having any guts to get back to school next year. Still regretting that I couldn't keep my mouth shut.