ROFC

A few weeks ago I was on Reddit, browsing through a thread that asked a simple question, "How are you?"

It amazes me that so many people around the world are feeling the same things at the same time.

Loneliness. Feeling comfortably numb. Depressed. Hopeless. Giving up. Holding on. 

If I had to choose a superpower, I'd most probably pick the ability to save these aching souls.

I know that everyone is fighting a battle that not everyone knows about. I know that while I'm rolling on the floor crying (yes, pathetic), someone out there might be doing the same, and that comforts me so much. I haven't felt this way for so long. It's scary that some feelings and some voices can reappear. Sigh. No one ever said life is easy anyway.

That night after reading through the Reddit thread, I thought of becoming a social worker. I thought of how weird it is that in this world, emotional pain can come in varying degrees. It also amuses me that some people can hold on for so long even after going through great pain, while some people get only a fraction of that pain but already feel like giving up.

But of course when I was ROFC, it's all about me. It's all about how bad I feel about myself. Sometimes I wonder what is the most effective way to transfer all of these negative thoughts and convert it into something beneficial to the society. Maybe only through this way I can be positive that I'll be able to live the rest of my life without getting back those scary thoughts. I call it scary because I thought they'd never come back. I was so so wrong. 

I wish no one would ever have to feel the pain of living. But then who am I to ask for such a big wish. If you're feeling like crap today, hang on in there man, you're not alone.