Nerdy Fee

I might be a prooooo procrastinator, but I'm also one of those people who will enjoy something that I'm doing if I do it at the right time with the right attitude.

Now that my mood of completing my issue report is at its peak, I find myself having that awkward feeling of...enjoying what I'm doing. When nothing but the deadline dictates me, I can do it with a smile on my face. I wish normal bio reports are like this one - you get the time to chill and do it whenever you want.

I've done an essay of a boring topic with more than 2000 words when I was 16, it also required a lot of research to be done, so that pretty much tells me that why shouldn't I enjoy my issue report? 

Last but not least, my motivation is currently very high because:

1. I can't recall how many people have been motivating me to complete it. Thank you, thank you to all of you.
2. I get to listen to the songs that I enjoy while typing. Guitar instrumentals and some old band songs particularly.
3. Googling is somehow fun. Reminds me of the times I even googled in Thai language, which makes me so perasan-ly capable of googling and finding the things I need for this report.
4. I learnt so many new things, and I like it because it's not what other people forcefully stuff into my brain. OH WOW THIS IS SO FUN. 
5. and...most important of all, I feel jealous because most of my friends had already done their report centuries ago.

But hey, I'm not even halfway there, so I should get back to it now. :P I will get philosophical next time.

Somebody That I Used to Know

Sorry for misusing the song title, but I guess that's how I felt when I found some old photos and old books...which showed how nerdy I was once upon a time...

Complete history notes, chapter 1 till the end, copied from the textbook.

EST notes copied from the blackboard. So I thought Miss Kho was the fastest
teacher I ever had...not until I entered college I realised I was wrong.

That awesome moment when the sample essay was written by James Bond.

I can't believe I managed to write that neat.

History notes again. No way I can maintain that kind
 of handwriting now.

Ridiculously neat Bio notes. 

The essay I recycled during SPM. I detect a mistake in grammar over there..

History was my favourite subject. 

..and Chemistry too, after I entered Form 5.

The motivation was there. I was really serious about SPM.

...but I also spent some time playing around with the camera.

...and sometimes allowed Kitty to climb my study table. 

Calendar of a nerd.

Bible, dictionary, empty glass, history notes and some random
NBA photos. 

I also had time to read..

..and watch Slam Dunk every evening for 30 minutes.

Sometimes I would take a break and do silly stuffs.

Last but not least, I shall present to you a photo I never revealed anywhere before this. No one outside the house has ever known how my bedroom looks like. Here you go:

On an average day of cramming for SPM...

 I seriously need to be like this somebody again. :/

Emoless Fee

I've just realised that when you start to stop focusing on yourself too much, it's easier to stop focusing on your problems as well.

And that's good.

Not that I've never been told about this well-known fact, but I guess all these while I've been making self-pity as my playground. It stole away my values of thankfulness. 

I admire those who persevere in their problems, those who never seem to seek help from others to make them feel better, those who can act as if nothing's wrong when within them there is something bugging them. 

I remember myself telling a friend in secondary school that not a single person in this world is free from problems, and what's more important is the way we look at a problem, that's what makes us all different. I miss that Fee. Throughout my secondary school life, I always kept my problems to myself. I almost never trusted anyone to make me feel better. That was also the period when I listened to my friend's problems more. I guess that kept me stronger, trying to help someone out of the pit rather than being the one who tripped. 

I guess it's important to note that there are so many people out there needing help when we too feel the need of someone's help. But sometimes we just lose the sensitivity. I lose mine when I think that my problem is more than what my emotions can handle. I regain mine when I see others having their own problems. So I guess my 14 year old way of thinking was correct:

Everyone has their own problems. It's just up to us to see it as something big, or something that should not stop us from living.

Emoless Fee is actually still mildly emo of still not being able to get over her problem, but she now chooses to express it in a way less emofying because there's no point of dwelling in emoness. Hah. I wish I had more sense of humour.

To end this entry, I shall present to you something
that made me laugh out of my emoness some time ago.

Find help if you're not feeling well. It helps a lot. No point complaining that no one understands. No one can read minds. Find the initiative to make the first move, even when you feel you might be judged. Talk to someone you can trust, tell them what's bugging you. I still think it's far better than keeping it to yourself and doing something that would harm you, which in the end will leave people saying "We never knew about this.." I'd rather be embarrassed of my lack of wisdom in handling emotions than doing something that will later make my loved ones cry. Not that I never thought of something stupid like the latter, but we shall get into that topic when I'm ready.

Hold on, put a smile.

Now I know why I have a blogger friend who keeps on posting motivational stuff. It feels gooooood. Aaaa. :)

Housekeepingggg!!

With only a few days left before I leave this place, I decided to do a little bit of changes to my bedroom.

Changes are good.

Especially when you shrink something which was previously double the size.

My 13' x 20' bedroom (Looks more like a small space for jamming) now looks better with more space to dance around. Changing to a single bed also means that I now have a door which can be fully opened without the standing fan blocking the way.

And the highlight of the day would be my clumsiness of spilling about 100ml of Febreze to the floor, which is not cool at all.

At least I did something fun today.

The RJP

I can get overly unrealistic sometimes, but hey, I deserve some fun. Expect more of these kind of stuff, especially at these times when I feel like exploding and I need my attention to be diverted from severe emonism.

Support my album, people. Will be available in stores near to you soon.