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My muscles feel like bursting. I'm not sleepy yet..and I honestly can't feel the tiredness. 

It's just..some weird pain all over my limbs. Today's been a crazy day. Super crazy. It's been a funny day filled with both agony and joy. Hahahahahaha.

I'm still missing Akasia, I don't know why. Perhaps because all these while I've been having this thought that Akasia is home. Leaving Akasia this morning felt like leaving home, but heading to another home. It's so confusing. Throughout my life I've been constantly shifting from home to home, and this is certainly home. But some homes just stay in my mind more than some others. It's OK if you don't get it, I also can't quite comprehend what I'm saying.

I should be sleeping, not thinking too much. :/

Last Day

I made a decision to go to college for the final time before I head back to my hometown tomorrow. As an overly-nostalgic person, I took a stroll around college, my camera in one hand. I snapped pictures the moment the sun had just risen. I stopped at some places, smiled alone while I recollected the memories.

Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have been here for the past two years. I met bad people, good people, annoying people, inspiring people. Going to college used to be something so tiring to do, yet now, thinking back, how I wish I had put in mind earlier that all of these are going to end after all. Perhaps if I reminded myself about that earlier, I could've appreciate this place more.

While taking a stroll at my classroom block, I coincidentally met my Maths lecturer Miss Lee, who said she is going to leave tomorrow. Talking to her made me realise that I actually appreciate so much of what she has done. It reminded me of all the random moments I would knock her door to ask for help in Maths. It didn't happen very frequently though. I only started to like her more in my final semester. Ah well, things always seem to get better when they're coming towards an end, don't they? 

I don't know why am I feeling this way. All of my friends had left, and I'm like the only one still here. It was my own choice. I wanted to feel my final moments here. Yet, it's still very sad to be the last person. I hugged so many people and watched so many people leave. 

In two months time, I hope I'll be able to come back here with a smile, although by then there might be no one left here to thank. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when we reach a certain point of a stage, and when it's finally the time to leave, it always feels weird. We know that things will never be the same. Some people may not be there in the future. Our feelings may change.

It's OK. Maybe that's the point of life. We come, we leave, we say goodbyes. We learn, we grow, then..

we move on.

Thank you INTEC, for all of the things that had happened. There were indeed so many crappy days. Days when I thought that the sky was about to fall. Days when I felt like running back home. Yet still, there were also some days when I really didn't want everything to end so fast. Days when I just laughed along with my friends and wish we never had to say farewell. It's been an incredible two-year journey. 

Stesyen berikutnya, Kuching.

Next station, Kuching.

Read that one in the voice of the KTM lady.

Fee, ALM12M8.

INTEC library computer lab, Computer A10.

9.54am, 27/06/2013.

Plan A

Third blog entry of the day. The real Fee is back mueheheh.

So I was just thinking of what to do during the holidays. I mean, during this two months of nothingness. And I can't think of any interesting things...other than..

1. Learn basic fingerstyle.

2. Learn basic blues.

3. Make a cover of a Thai song.

4. Read at least five books.

5. Go jogging hahahahahaha.

6. Sleep.

7. Play guitar all day long.

8. .....

9. .....

10. ...........

Oh seriously I dunno what to do. :(

Oh Fee..

Fee has taken it to the next level. Fee has tweeted excessively. And now Fee posts too much things on Facebook.

Facebook is such a wonderful tool to listen to other people's opinions. Posting a status update is like opening a room for debate and sharing. It's like starting a forum thread, with your identity revealed of course. And if not being careful, a single status update can become the mirror to your personality.

That's why I blog. 

But then sometimes when I need to listen to what others have to say, I just post a status update. Not all the time. Some are just crappy ones which I think may sound funny. On better days, I post serious ones. They can be easily differentiated - the ones where I expect replies, and the ones that I don't. If it's a question, it shows that I expect someone to share. Today is not disappointing at all. I got what I needed.

The human mind is so interesting. We have varied thoughts, despite most of the time having the same emotions and core values. 

I'm just impressed.

Hmmmmhh

I'm done with my interview. I'm done with everything. The thing is, I don't have the slightest idea on why am I still here, or rather appropriately, I should put it this way:

I DON'T KNOW WHY DID I CHOOSE TO NOT GO BACK STRAIGHT AWAY?

I'm amused by my stupidity.

Part of me feels like running back home to grab and hug my guitar, but part of me says it's going to be fun to stay back for a while, because I will get to extend my time to play basketball!

But but..the haze shattered my dreams, destroyed my plans. There's no way I can play in this haze. I am so sad.

I'm thinking of going to college tomorrow perhaps. Just for fun. Maybe take some pictures of the view around college. Take a stroll. Recollect the memories. But but..again, the haze. The haze. Why should I take a stroll in the haze?

Anyway, I'll be leaving this place forever, so I guess I should appreciate this extended moment that I'm here, although I feel so lonely and I'm missing my housemates so badly. I had the best housemates I could ever ask for in the past two years. Being in a temporary new room with a different person for just one night made me realise that I had a very considerate roommate, and housemates who understood me well. I can never fully comprehend the complexity of human emotions - why do we always appreciate people more when it's time to say goodbye.

Before I start to cry like a lonely old woman, I think I better watch some random movies.