The price for one plate of Nasi Goreng Ayam at one famous dining place for students in this area has increased by 50 cents, making it now RM6.00.
There you go, take that random update as we venture another new month in this mystical hidden small town of far far away.
Nothing much is left to say after the previous blog post, emotions are still trying to drag this fellow into the depths of depression.
August said goodbye without leaving me a single song to write, that's pretty depressing after three failed attempts, but to view it as something positive, I have to admit, less time spent on guitar means more time spent on studying.
Emotions are so hard to express without trying to sound emo, but not expressing them means I might explode at any moment.
Relationships are getting confusing, one moment I'm trusting somebody, the other moment I end up doubting. Now I understand why I never liked placing my trust on people throughout my teenage years. I have issues with myself which I need to resolve. Or should I say, I shouldn't have been too honest with people at the first place.
While everything else seems to bring me down, I see myself having this weird feeling that nothing is going to stop me from reaching what I really dream for. Sadly, at the same time, it somehow makes me feel that focusing on improving my grades also means that I'm turning into a self-centred person once again, spending less time thinking about others, and many important aspects in my life which I used to prioritise before this. I know I can't please everyone, but I wish I never had to hurt anyone's feelings when I'm busy staying indoors trying to chase my selfish dreams.
Not sure of how this month is going to end, but one thing's for sure, even if things get hard, even if I have to choose, even if failures knock me down again and again: failures in topic tests, friendship, or even my walk with God, I just want to believe in myself for once, though I know I should be trusting God more than myself. I'm just tired of not being able to stand up confidently like other people. I'm just tired that sometimes other people's confidence make me feel like I'm being sneered at.
But sometimes, of course, it's hard for me to become confident without letting pride conquer me. I guess confidence has never been my best friend. The moment I see myself as someone confident, I start questioning myself what if it's just mere pride?
I have too many questions that no one would like to answer. Maybe there are such things as stupid questions. Or stupid place to ask for a question at a stupid time. Oookayyy I'm angry I better sign out before I start whining for no reasons.
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And I've been neglecting Thai songs for so long, I even forgot that one of my favourite songs said Only those who believe in their dreams will continue to walk on, even when things get tiring.
The title of the song?
Faith (ความเชื่อ/Kwaam Cheua).
Happy new month once again. I'm targeting at least a B for my Bio topic test that day, and my motivation is still high.
I shall end this post with a monotone Haha just to lessen the effect of angry sentences detected almost everywhere in this post.
Haha.
I am so going to regret for publishing this, but who cares. Good lessons can also be learnt through bad examples. You can learn from my weaknesses and be glad that you have less anger genes than me. Now I'm blaming the genes.
Why on earth am I so angry on a breezy midnight? Why? Whyyyy??!
*Grabs super thick core maths book and hits it repeatedly on the head*
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