Vain

Apart from the fact that I'm blogging almost everyday now, well, I'm not quite sure on how to end this sentence.

My mind is replaying a lot of old conversations.

Like how a friend said that she always believed that my purpose in life isn't medicine, but something else. It makes me wonder sometimes, is it because of my level of intellect, or is it because of my character.

And another friend said she can see that actually I have a deep love in language and literature or more precisely I think writing philosophical depressing crap. I made up the last part of the sentence. Actually that friend of mine is correct. I do love writing and rhyming up stuffs and reading poems and narrating stories in my mind before going to bed.

But of course there's like..a million more people with that same interest. And I have no exceptional skills, so that doesn't give me any advantage.

Or perhaps a lot of people already know my passion for guitar. But passion alone won't bring you so far in the real world. I ain't no Sungha Jung.

The thing is, no one knows that actually I have a deep interest in Thai history. 

I used to carry my sister's History of South East Asia Form Six book to school, to be read while waiting for evening session classes to start. 

Sometimes I wonder should I just give up on my dreams of pursuing Science, or should I do so..

..because I love Biology, even when it actually never really loved me back.

I equally love History and Biology.

Apart from that, I also love thinking about myself and my future when I brush my teeth.

Vain.

I mean, whenever I brush my teeth, or sit too long in front of a laptop, it's these kind of crap that attacks my brain. 

Sometimes I wonder why I love thinking so much, which is, well, unnecessary.