Blogging

I decided to bring back my old blog layout/background image as my mind suddenly noticed some sort of symbolism in my action.

Maybe I'm going to get back to blogging regularly just like what I've done in the past.

And then I laugh at my own absurdity, because then I realised my blog had been naked and white for at least two or three years, and that doesn't suppose to mean anything, because back in those days the life-changing day hadn't happened yet and I was still an active blogger.  Get it? No? Me neither. 

Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend about blogging and journaling and how stable my emotions were when I totally ditched those two hobbies. But then after coming back to this blog a few days ago, I found myself laughing at my old posts, pondering about the ridiculousness of my grammar and phony blog entries, and it all reminded me of the hours I wasted by trying to figure out the right words to type out for the world to see. And then I stumbled across a page that I turned into a draft, hidden somewhere in my long list of other drafts.

It was something I called 'My Life List' which I used to place on the top menu, but I hid it after much embarrassment that at the age of 20 half of the things I wrote there were unachievable.

Little did I know that only two years later, despite the inability to fulfil those goals I ached for, I actually did  achieve one or two other things that I've totally forgotten about. The best part was that I've totally forgotten about the list itself after more than one year of not exploring that hidden side of my blog.

Among the things I've listed in that post:

1. Get a driving license (I am already in the process of getting one).

2. Achieve rank 100 in Tetris Battle (I did that a long time ago but never realised about it).

3. Learn how to play violin (I consider this done since I've technically started to learn).

4. Learn how to play ukulele (I can already play G D Em C so I'd say I've achieved this goal).

5. Learn how to swim (Did this just four days ago).

What am I trying to say? I don't know. I suddenly remember one quote from Mike Rosenberg who said as you let go of all the shit you're expecting, some things can just happen without even you realising about it. That sad and sullen day when I updated my life list, I was already convinced that I'll never learn how to swim or play the violin or climb Mount Kinabalu. Now that I've seen these five silly little goals fulfilled, I am actually quite optimistic about life already. Maybe it's not impossible that one day I'll get to jam on a rooftop, or sit at the back of an elephant, or play golf, or learn karate, or climb a water tank.

Without all the things that I've blogged in the past it would be such a waste to not see how incredible that those stupid depressing days have been long gone. I'm not trying to say that life is all sunshine and rainbows now, but hey, sometimes I can't believe I made it alive. 

For that very same reason I'm happy that my friend asked me to blog again. Maybe it really is a good idea. Maybe I'll come back here more frequently. Maybe I wasn't supposed to leave my blog so empty in the past few months. Maybe some stories are supposed to be shared after all.