He is Awesome

I HAVE to blog about this.

Yesterday it was supposed to be my turn to present my English decision making speech. The night before, I did some final touch up to my slides and finished doing so quite early, around 10.30pm. Feeling nervous but quite ready to face the next day, I went to bed without the slightest knowledge on what will happen the next day. All I knew that I just couldn't wait for the evening to come, as it was going to be my first time experience of serving for CA. 

The next morning (yesterday), everything was as normal, I got ready earlier than any other days and felt so excited to start the day. After the prayer meeting, we went to our respective classrooms and as for my class, we immediately started the presentation. I knew my turn was going to be quite late, so I relaxed first and decided to just switch on my laptop when my turn came.

Right before my turn, I switched on my laptop and guess what had happened. I had problem with my laptop, it could be switched on but couldn't enter the system. After some failed attempts to solve the problem, I gave up and accepted the fact. I thank God we had not enough time for everyone to present the speeches, so we had to continue it the next day (which is today). My mind was thinking about a lot of things. People were asking me whether I backed up my slides in my pen drive. Then I realised what a huge mistake which I've made. I didn't do so. Everything was so unexpected. 

With anger and despair (and feeling worried), I didn't know what to do but to blame myself and the Ethics presentation we had the day before. I felt like blaming someone and releasing my anger to someone, but because there was no one, I had to just keep everything inside. I walked out from the classroom (as we had to go to the lab after that), feeling really bad. From far, I saw my friend Kar Suan at the corridor. Thinking back of what had happened, I just knew God provided me a shoulder to cry on without me even asking for it. It was not coincidence that Kar Suan was standing there. I immediately went to her and told her everything. I didn't even realise that tears were flowing down my cheeks. She gave me a hug, saying that everything will be OK. I just don't know what I was feeling that time, I guess it was a mixture of feelings which made me feel awful.

I walked alone to the lab, but turned back and saw my classmates Fatin and Nadiah a few metres right behind me. They showed me that they also cared about what had happened, after asking me to cheer up, they suggested some solution to my problem. In the Bio lab, I couldn't even smile as I was worrying too much. How am I going to do all of my future assignments without my laptop. More importantly, how am I going to present my speech the next day?

That afternoon, I was in the same bus with Kar Suan. When we reached hostel, she offered me her help, which is to redo my slides using her laptop. So I followed her to her house, feeling quite bad for troubling a friend. After about an hour, I managed to do a decent presentation (did it halfheartedly), still thinking of my slides which I've prepared earlier which were far better than that one. I kept on questioning why? Why did such thing happen to me? Then Kar Suan's answer awakened me. It's OK, this is God's way to let me share His love to you. I thought of it again and I felt embarrassed for my previous feelings of anger and worry, as if there was no solution to the problem.

When I returned to my house, everybody haven't returned from class yet, so I was alone, thinking more about what had happened. I needed someone to talk to, but I didn't want to worry my mum, so I called my sister. It didn't even make me feel better as her remarks worried me more and made me blame myself more than before. So I called my mum, thinking that only her voice can calm me down. As I told her everything, I cried again. It was such a bad feeling.

I finished my conversation and there was still nobody with me in the house. It made me feel lonely and as if no one cares. Then something struck me. I forgot to do something. Talk to God. Since He promised to hear us whenever we cry out to Him, I knew that He is my only hope. So I prayed, saying everything that came across my mind. One of my main worries was not being able to serve for CA cheerfully that night. I didn't want that to happen. So I prayed more and more until my housemate Queen returned from class. Her presence in the house made me feel OK and I slowly forgot about the laptop for a while.

That evening, right after my other housemate Jing (whom I call a genius and tech-savvy person) returned from class, I asked her to check on what was happening to my laptop. After several attempts, in just a few seconds, the laptop was able to be switched on normally, as if nothing had happened before. The first thing that came across my mind was what I had asked God in my prayers that afternoon. Immediately, I took my pen drive and backed up the presentation that I needed. I praise Him for listening to my prayers and giving me that chance to back up what I really needed.

That night I gave my all during CA, praising Him as I knew that He has done something special to me before that CA gathering. I didn't even think of my worries anymore for the whole night.

And yeah, I woke up this morning as usual, but with some thoughts that the same problem might occur again today. However, I wasn't so worried because the slides that I needed were in my pen drive and I can borrow any laptops from my classmates later on. My thoughts weren't wrong, as I tried to switch it on this morning, the same problem happened. But this time I learnt my lessons. I managed to present my speech using my classmate's laptop. As I returned home, I tried to switch it own again but nothing happened. So guess what? If yesterday he heard my prayer and answered it, why not I continue to pray today? Therefore I prayed again, this time with more faith as I know what happened yesterday was not a coincidence. This evening, after several attempts (again), it came back to normal again, and I switched it on again tonight, hence I am here, typing this out to share how awesome He is. It might be a small story to you, but for me, it is something remarkable to know that God showed his love and care through people who are close to where you are, and when you feel like there's no solution to your problem, He's actually there to give you a solution.

Good night :)