Feeling..errr..

NOSTALGIC

adjective

experiencing or exhibiting nostalgia, a sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place, time, or situation.

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I don't know what's wrong, maybe it's just because we're coming towards the end of 2011, these past few days I've been reminiscing probably too much of the old days. Reading my inbox and sent items make me feel like reading a diary - I have messages dated back before SPM, during SPM, the holidays, the interviews, old birthday wishes, MDS stories...

...which made me smile.

This afternoon the drama playing on TV happened to play the song 'Kau Ilhamku', and ah, it brought back that funny feeling. It was the first song that I learnt on my guitar. 

'Aishiteru', the hit song before SPM among the boys in my class seems to never die. I lost count of how many times I listened to it on the bus to college, and when I return here, it seems to follow me. That's enough to remind me of the video Gab, Mav and Arbut recorded before Add Maths class. I watched it again a few nights ago and it was a wrong decision. I almost cried. No one can deny the fact that your Form 5 classmates are among the awesomest people you meet in your lifetime. 

Tonight I suddenly remembered of Peterpan's songs, picked up my guitar and played a few of them.

Sometimes it's just weird how songs can bring back those old feelings which make you appreciate on how you've spent your teen years. Honestly my secondary school life was not that bad, despite the fact that I kept on looking for the meaning of true friendship, I realise that I spent my time with a lot of different people and was never really close to a particular friend. When the time came for us to know each other well, we separate classes. New bonds start to form every year. And now everyone is moving on with new bunch of people.

That's when you feel like opening your old album, skimming through the pictures and wondering what are these people doing now. When you're thinking of them, do they even remember you? Perhaps they don't ever care to think about those memories. And that's what soon make you realise on such a fool you are for still dwelling in the past when everyone has started to carry on with their lives. 

But still the photos give you some sort of happiness as if you're living it once again. 

I somehow like the idea of the old days when we develop photos and not just store them in the digital form. Like what had happen to my hard disc, it caused almost all of my Sem 1 photos to be gone just like that. Nothing beats the feeling of holding and looking at a photo in a true, real photo form. I even felt a bit nostalgic (even though the memories have nothing to do with me) when I looked at my dad's old pictures in the 70's and early 80's. Hmm..now imagine what are we going to leave for our children and grandchildren to see in the future if we lose the digital form?

...so you thought only songs and pictures made me feel nostalgic? Gah.

YouTube is also a place that can bring some sort of sentimental feeling. Don't tell me you can't feel anything when you watch and listen to videos like the theme song of Pokemon or some random video you watched years ago which suddenly appeared in your mind once more. 

I dunno what's happening to me, seriously.

I feel..that I feel too much, sometimes.