So..(This is a Random Post)

So..you are not supposed to start a sentence with so.

But who cares. As much as I love (subconsciously) checking and auto-correcting people's grammar on their status updates, I do that on my blog occasionally too. I nearly died when I read back my posts in 2009.

So..it's 2am and I can't sleep. What's the big deal?

Well I've been trying to not switch on my laptop for the whole day. It was kind of a success..not until I decided to post something new here. I haven't been writing on my journal since I don't know when, haven't been writing any songs, haven't cursed for a long time (yeah, go ahead, roll your eyes), haven't been pouring out emo stuffs for more than one week (YAYS!) so that means I haven't been expressing my thoughts for so long. I hate keeping everything inside. So here I am.

So...I've been studying. And it's a slow progress. It's not fun when you start from scratch. It's not fun when you don't feel the stress.

So...I got distracted.

One good thing about being in your own room is that when you get distracted, there's always one interesting thing after another.

Playing guitar suddenly, surprisingly, sadly became boring. 

So I decided to do some historical retrieval.

And I ended up emoooo. 

That's why I'm here.

As a collector/keeper, there are always junk in my bedroom which can be connected to some memories. And I tell you, I might look oh-not-so-girly when you always see me in t-shirt and jeans and a guitar 24/7, but the truth is I can be super mushy. Like overly sentimental. Emo. Whatever you call it.

I suddenly miss the good ol' days...and the people who were in those days.

And I notice that people like me (ugh..), the mushy ones, the overly sentimental ones are the ones yang macam syok sendiri, still living in the past, cursing the present, and fearing the future. 

If you ask me when were the happiest years of my life, I'd say when I was 14. I played computer games, enjoyed studying, had a lot of haters, yet life was so cool.

Now I no longer have much time for games. Have more friends that I could ever imagine. Don't really like studying. Afraid of so many things. Angry with so many things.

I find it interesting that how our past pretty much affects who we are today.

And I shall leave that philosophical post for another day.

Because I need to sleep and regret for posting this when I see this tomorrow.

I find it funny that nowadays I regret posting stuffs a day after posting them, not like last time when it took about a few months to regret. Talk about growing up so fast. Maybe. 

I still don't see that I've grown up much after entering college. It fact I think college life has mutated me, making me whine more like a baby and wail more like a kid.

I have to sleep before I start to whine again.