Oh Hai

So an article that appeared on my news feed 10 days ago made such a huge impact, I decided to step back from social network for as long as I can endure.

Taking a break from blogging was hard, especially when there were times when I felt that I just needed to get my problems out of my head. However I'm very glad to say that the past 10 days made me realise that the more I blog about my problems, the more I share about them, the more miserable I become.

Getting away from Facebook for the first time made me realise that the less I know about what's happening in other people's lives, the more I find myself not comparing myself to who they are and what they have. I suddenly felt that not knowing at all on what are other people are up to is a good thing after all. I stopped having expectations on how certain things should happen. It was a great feeling.

But when almost everyone shares important updates on a place you've stepped out of, it's hard to think that you may be missed out in certain things. I had to check my results whether they're out or not for almost everyday, I missed a discussion (and argument, hoho) for my primary school class reunion, missed some birthday wishes. Well at least I think I had probably missed some things I wished I never knew, so that's one good point.

In fact after all that I've been through for the past 10 days, I'm actually looking forward to a day when I can probably take a longer rest, especially when A-Levels is just less than 5 months to go. 

I'm happier than who I was a few months ago, not that nothing is happening, but more because of this time I just want to stop expecting too much from others and start taking my own baby steps. Not that I'm trying to be cocky, but sometimes seeking comfort from others would only lead to disappointment. I don't know how this is linked to social media, but somehow it does.

So I don't want to sound perasan or what, I know there are people who care, but I can assure you that whatever happens, for the time being, I am fine, I am happy and I have made a reflection that I still want to live for as long as I can. I lay awake last night and got reminded of a lot of moments this year when I felt worthless, when I felt disappointed about the people and things around me. Made me realise that all these while I've been expecting too much from others.

How I wish I was more ignorant than who am I, so that I can just relax a little bit and stop thinking too much.