Whoooossshhh...
The results are going to be announced next week. Good news, my brain is actively functioning because excessive thoughts about what will happen in the future are approaching more than ever. Even when I eat, I think about who will I become when I grow older. That's the bad part. Over-thinking leads to mild depression and mild depression leads to chronic worrying.
Let me explain about the title first. I used the term "Hi-So" because I've been over-exposed to Thai entertainment blogs. Forgive me. Google up if you want to know the meaning.
Growing up as an ordinary kid from a family who's not rich but not poor (yeah sorry, didn't know how to explain better) makes me sometimes ponder what if I'll be very rich one day. I certainly don't know how to live a rich life. Do rich people live normal lives? This is how my life is for the past 17 years I've been living:
1. When I want something,sometimes I get it, but sometimes I don't. Quite balanced at times. Most entertainment-related stuffs are purchased by using own savings (the money which is supposed to be used to buy food at school haha). These include Detective Conan comics, DVDs and money-wasting items according to adults.
2. When someone (especially friends) get something new, expensive and cool, I will start dreaming to have one as soon as possible and start questioning myself why does certain people get things so damn easily without even trying. These include electric guitars, keyboards, DSLR cameras and a lot more. Yes, I sound ungrateful, but don't get me wrong. I am very honest here. I am thankful for what I have. Sometimes I just have to open my eyes a bit wider to see that I am fortunate enough compared to those who live even more difficult lives.
3. I hate attending parties held by rich people. The only thing I love is the food. Again, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I just think I don't belong to these group of people (especially if they are distant relatives). No offense. No further elaboration.
4. I love my old t-shirts. The really old ones. I wear them most of the time when I'm at home, because new, branded shirts makes me hot. I mean hot, not 'hot'. Do rich people wear old t-shirts? I honestly don't know much about this.
Back to the main idea. The next step that I'll be taking will pretty much influence my future career. I used to have a lot of ambitions when I was younger, but sadly when I really need those thoughts now, I found out that perhaps I didn't have any ambition at all. I have dreams of living a better life than now, but at the same time, I'm afraid of the changes in my life.
Yes, the fear of changes. Bad sign.
I've been living this simple life so comfortably for the past 17 years and now I'm afraid to be rich. Or poorer. The truth is, I don't want to live a very rich life. And certainly not a poor life too. I want to live like how I've been raised by my parents, but slightly richer than this. But not too rich.
I've also realised that in the time being, this question is not so important. The main question should be
WHAT should I become? This is the career-choosing part. Unfortunately, when thinking, my thoughts get so deep, and I skip all the previous questions - making this question the main one.
Probably this is what the Thais say as "Thinking too much". Thinking too much really kills.
A very honest entry from me. Don't take it too seriously.
Just my two cents.
Stay tuned for more.
The results are going to be announced next week. Good news, my brain is actively functioning because excessive thoughts about what will happen in the future are approaching more than ever. Even when I eat, I think about who will I become when I grow older. That's the bad part. Over-thinking leads to mild depression and mild depression leads to chronic worrying.
Let me explain about the title first. I used the term "Hi-So" because I've been over-exposed to Thai entertainment blogs. Forgive me. Google up if you want to know the meaning.
Growing up as an ordinary kid from a family who's not rich but not poor (yeah sorry, didn't know how to explain better) makes me sometimes ponder what if I'll be very rich one day. I certainly don't know how to live a rich life. Do rich people live normal lives? This is how my life is for the past 17 years I've been living:
1. When I want something,sometimes I get it, but sometimes I don't. Quite balanced at times. Most entertainment-related stuffs are purchased by using own savings (the money which is supposed to be used to buy food at school haha). These include Detective Conan comics, DVDs and money-wasting items according to adults.
2. When someone (especially friends) get something new, expensive and cool, I will start dreaming to have one as soon as possible and start questioning myself why does certain people get things so damn easily without even trying. These include electric guitars, keyboards, DSLR cameras and a lot more. Yes, I sound ungrateful, but don't get me wrong. I am very honest here. I am thankful for what I have. Sometimes I just have to open my eyes a bit wider to see that I am fortunate enough compared to those who live even more difficult lives.
3. I hate attending parties held by rich people. The only thing I love is the food. Again, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I just think I don't belong to these group of people (especially if they are distant relatives). No offense. No further elaboration.
4. I love my old t-shirts. The really old ones. I wear them most of the time when I'm at home, because new, branded shirts makes me hot. I mean hot, not 'hot'. Do rich people wear old t-shirts? I honestly don't know much about this.
Back to the main idea. The next step that I'll be taking will pretty much influence my future career. I used to have a lot of ambitions when I was younger, but sadly when I really need those thoughts now, I found out that perhaps I didn't have any ambition at all. I have dreams of living a better life than now, but at the same time, I'm afraid of the changes in my life.
Yes, the fear of changes. Bad sign.
I've been living this simple life so comfortably for the past 17 years and now I'm afraid to be rich. Or poorer. The truth is, I don't want to live a very rich life. And certainly not a poor life too. I want to live like how I've been raised by my parents, but slightly richer than this. But not too rich.
What should I become next?
I've also realised that in the time being, this question is not so important. The main question should be
What will my results be?
then
Where should I go next?
then
How good will I score in university/wherever I continue my studies
then
WHAT should I become? This is the career-choosing part. Unfortunately, when thinking, my thoughts get so deep, and I skip all the previous questions - making this question the main one.
Probably this is what the Thais say as "Thinking too much". Thinking too much really kills.
A very honest entry from me. Don't take it too seriously.
Just my two cents.
Stay tuned for more.
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