Looking Back (and Ahead)

"I say this because I know what I am planning for you", says the LORD. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future". - Jeremiah 29:11

I can't remember when was the first time these words were introduced to me. However, I will never forget who was the person to inspire me with this promise from God. It's none other than Mr. Song Ting Kee, my Maths teacher during form 2. He was one of the ISCF teachers too, and I admired him because it was really enjoyable to listen to him when he shares God's words and when he teaches Maths too.

Whenever I feel in doubt about the future, I always remember those words. And if you thought that getting good grades in SPM kills all of your doubts, it's wrong.

Let's look back to the past. During my form 4 years, I wasn't a happy student. Well, yes I am lying. I was happy, but not so confident with myself. I hated form 4 because the culture shock was torturing. Imagine that you've always been scoring A and at least B during your younger days, then suddenly in form 4 you get ugly grades. You are certainly not alone.

The chronicle of my downfall went like this:
1. Ugly grades.
2. Felt neglected by teachers (felt so used to being a teachers pet during younger days).
3. Started being a bit less nerdy, good coz made new friends. New fun, crazy, chatterbox friends.
4. Onlined a lot because of stress probably.
5. Didn't care much why my Add Maths was an E.
6. Relaxed a little bit, didn't push myself hard enough, started to memorize a lot of songs instead of doing revision.

The lab became the coolest place in school when SPM was getting nearer.

Luckily that only lasted for a year. In form 5, I became determined and started to set goals to beat the class top-scorer (LOL, I never managed to) but I did improve. And that was good enough.

The chronicle of my uprise was something like this:
1. Learnt that I scored a C/D/E not because of stupidity but because...(drumroll please)...school exam formats were weird, and not similar to SPM, yeah I mean those annoying monthly tests. In my fist Chemistry monthly test, I got an E. It was really difficult. Really really difficult.
2. Add maths apparently became fun when you know how to do it. It's addictive too. I did a lot of them between the two trials, scored B+ and that managed to boost up my confidence. In fact really confident for at least an A-.
3. Did loads of history short notes. Before KK meetings, between lessons, I devoted myself with this stuff which I never reread word by word anyway.
4. Didn't go to YouTube for months before SPM. YouTube is addictive because there is always a "chain reaction".
5. Started to become addicted to Chemistry lessons. Started to listen more during Physics and not let my sleepy eyes defeat me.
6. Slept less late at night. Not very early, but just OK - only to complete homeworks and not because of onlining.
7. Had fun at school. Played basketball (and even futsal) every Monday morning even the week before trial exams. Posed for photos. Laughed with the gang.

...and a lot more.

Thanks to the anime Slam Dunk, I became a basketball lover. Played a lot on Mondays.

During my final months in school, I wrote in my journal that "to balance this fun and effort would be a sweet success". Yes. I was correct.

I had fun in form 5, I wasn't a quiet student who only studied and mingled with top-scorers. My gang was the one who sat on the last table behind everyone in the Bio lab. Eh wait, I mean the 2nd last table. Being carefree and less kiasu doesn't make you stupid. We knew when to joke and when to listen.

What I'm trying to say here is...enjoy your schooldays. This entry is for those who's in the same boat as me when I was a secondary school student.

I would like to thank all of the teachers who taught me in SMK Penrissen No.1 (ok, my identity is finally revealed, I never mentioned this) for making my schooldays enjoyable. Also to the teachers who never taught me but was very nice to me. I have an unexplainable bond to this school - it's really special in its own way. The memories, the silly little things, the mistakes, the moments I've experienced there have certainly made me a better person. This anak jati of the school is really proud of being one ex-student of Penrissen.

This is my favourite in school: The Stairs. I exercise less at home, so this kept me fit. I call it "the stairs of hope" because it made me remember one scene from the movie "Beautiful Boxer".

Looking Ahead

I still don't know what's ahead of me. I have dreams and goals. But I won't tell here first. I want to stay motivated, focused and succeed. Secondary school life is officially over, now it's time to defreeze the frozen.