Fee's Musical Journey

It's currently raining cats and dogs at my place, so I guess this weather gives me a nice mood to reminisce and write about something that I never really shared completely in one whole story.

Not long ago a blogger friend shared about her musical journey and it's something I want to do too, haha, because I've just realised that next month will mark the 7th year since I first had my first guitar. And since next month I'll be pretty busy upon returning to the land of far far away a.k.a SA, I'm going to do it one month earlier.

I can't remember at what age did I have my first toy guitar which was bought from a car boot sale, but there's a story behind that toy guitar (I will get back to that in a few paragraphs later).

I was 8 years old when I really wanted to write a song for a friend who was transferring to another school. However, the only musical instrument I had at home was this:

Also bought from car boot sale, in case you are wondering.

and the only musical instrument I could play, was this:

Sorry I can't remember how to play this anymore.

That same year, my school had a choir performance for prize-giving ceremony and there was this some sort of audition in every class. I sang the song Ais Kacang, if I'm not mistaken. Okay this story is not really important anyway, just to tell you here that I didn't get selected while most of my friends did, so that pretty much proved that I can't really sing (Yes, I am aware of that fact). :P

Fast forward the story, I was eleven when I first realised about the beauty of guitar solos after watching the first Thai drama which made me fall in love with Thai music. It was this OST which pretty much gave me the thought of learning guitar:

This is when the old toy guitar came back to life. For almost one year, I was dreaming of buying a guitar and I often strummed on the strings of the toy guitar because it just gave me the happiness of doing so. Gosh that's embarrassing. So if there's something that lead me to finally owning a guitar, I must give credits to that little toy guitar which my mum gave away to a distant cousin when I was in Form 1. (I was too shy to not allow my mum to do so because I was already in Form 1). 

July 2005. I can't remember the exact date, but it was one of the ordinary days when I followed my favourite uncle (back then, lol) to the nearby shop to buy some ice creams (He was not married yet back then so he had tonnes of money to treat me with ice cream). That particular shop sold some Kapok guitars which were hanging right above the ice cream place, so I pointed towards them and made a signal to my uncle (We had a previous agreement of buying one if and only if I manage to get straight As in my UPSR). All I can remember after that is the ride back home on the motorcycle with a shiny, black guitar on my left hand, and RM80 was such a huge figure that made me admire my uncle more and more.

I then bought this for only RM2.50:

Can't remember the exact date I bought my guitar,
but must be like a week before this book.

Not really a guide book, it's just a book with
diagrams of chords, that's all.

I didn't have internet connection at home till the end of Form 3, so basically my first few years was just about playing the usual C-Am-F-G and some songs like Kau Ilhamku (The first song I learnt from another uncle). Talking about learning from others, I must be lying all these while if I said that I didn't have any guitar sifus. When I was in Form 1, my sister's friend came for a vacation and stayed with us for a while, and she was my first guitar sifu who taught me quite a number of random songs. I learnt how to play the intro of Wake Me Up When September Ends haha. Just like some of my friends who called me sifu, I called her my sifu too. She's probably my first motivator who made me continue playing despite having so little chances to improve back then.

I only started playing worship songs when I was in Form 2, thanks to a book with lyrics and chords I photocopied from my guy classmate. It was also the same year when I attended my school's CF regularly, so I pretty much had the chance to observe the senior guy on his guitar in the midst of worship. My other guys classmates also brought their guitars to school quite regularly especially on Fridays, although I was too shy to join, deep down in my heart I really wanted to learn from them and be as skilful as them.

Fast forward to the end of Form 3, right after PMR, that was the point when I really had the chance to learn a lot. There were so many new things I started to learn, like how to tune a guitar properly, played my first solo (Unlovable by Mild) and I finally understood barre chords. I discovered videos of Sungha Jung and dreamt of becoming as great as him (Sad case, will never be). Well I can't be the only one :P

Realising that I needed something better than my Kapok after playing so many Thai songs, I got myself my second guitar in November 2009. For a guitarist who began with a Kapok, it was seriously fun to finally get the chance to play on something easier to press. For that very same reason, I'm quite thankful I started with a cheap Kapok because it gave me the strength I needed over the years. Wouldn't it be more amazing if I straight away jumped to an electric guitar instead? Haha. 

Then in Form 5, I eventually got the chance to play outside of my bedroom when there was a lack of guitarist for my school's CF. I offered to play, but I never understood the meaning of transposing. I had a tough time when the teacher asked me to play in a certain key. Those were my earliest memories of serving, although I became the guitarist only for two times.

We had a keceriaan project for Sivik around July 2010, and that was the first moment I realised that writing a song might be something fun. The great time I had with my classmates inspired me to write and sing something about it, so Thank You for the Day was written in ten days. It was my first ever self-composed song, and I guess that's the beginning of all the songs I've written so far.

When I had to leave for college, I thought that that was the end for my love of playing guitar. But it's quite funny that actually college is just the beginning. It was only my second week in SA when I got the chance to hold someone's guitar (can't remember whose) during one of the earliest prayer meetings (the only thing I remember is that it was at the bus stop). My tendency of showing off despite having lack of skills lead me to playing for the first time during Campus Revo (I still remember my first song, Amazing Grace), and it was one of my happiest moments in college because I was seriously missing my guitar and I had the chance to bring back my senior's guitar to my room (wrong reason to be happy) and abuse it to the max. It was also probably the most expensive guitar I've ever held in my hands. I had another chance to play during CR after that, yes, I still remember the songs, Draw Me Close to You and This is My Desire. At this point I still use the word play rather than serve because my almost zero experience in serving made me unable to differentiate between those two.

Another senior asked me one evening after church if I would like to serve for CA. I saw it as something good to gather some experience, so I agreed. So right after the Raya holidays, I had my first chance ever serving for CA together with some other juniors. It was a priceless experience, but too many compliments can also be something wrong. There were times I did question myself on the reasons why I first wanted to serve in the worship team, and it was my second time serving which caused me to get my reasons right. "We are serving, not performing", said our worship leader, and till now, everytime I agree to serve for a particular week, I make that the main thing in my head.

You see, I am quite a shy person if you really know me. So bringing my guitar almost every week to college was at first a difficult thing to do, and ask me the hardest part of bringing a guitar, I will answer you this: It's kinda embarrassing when you get into the bus (especially when it's full and you have to pass by so many people already on their seats) and you're alone and all eyes are on you. But after some time, I have to admit I'm used to it already. With friends around me, I could even play at the bus stop - did that once as a last minute practice session. (No, no, not showing off although I think it's kinda showing off anyway).

College life also opened the opportunities for me to jam along with a bunch of people, something which I never imagined I could ever do after being a lonely guitarist for many years. Some people already know me as the guitar girl, many classmates have taken photos with my guitar, I've also taken so many photos with other people's guitars, and now, at the age of 19 I don't think I can ever stop playing guitar. My third guitar might be my most favourite guitar and probably the last acoustic, but next time when I have my own salary I will probably buy an electric guitar. Hahaha.

Guitar thought me confidence. It thought me to appreciate myself. It's one of the good friends I have. There were some mean people who labelled me with some hurtful names because I'm a girl who plays guitar (back then people didn't know Taylor Swift yet). So yeah. Guitar is just for anyone who loves it.

A friend who is currently studying music said that true musicians are those who can play and search for complicated chords without any references, but to me, that still doesn't make you a true musician. Not being able to read the taugehs doesn't mean that you're not a true musician. My definition of a true musician is someone who enjoys playing and learning from other people, and no matter how hard it is to improve, a true musician will enjoy whatever he can play because believe me, it was my guitar which taught me that improvement will and does come along with time.

Wah that was long, hope it'll be a good thing for me to read in years to come :P

By the way, there's only two musical instruments that I can play, another one is a traditional one called the engkerumung (not that hard to play..) and in the future I would love to learn the drums, saxophone and one Thai traditional musical instrument called the ranard-ek. Haha.

K bye.