#26 Wednesday

I was born on a Wednesday, so I actually really like Wednesdays.

And today was surprisingly good, because to be honest I thought I wanted to be alone at the library and ride my favourite bus, but none of that happened, yet look at me right now, feeling so abnormally happy.

So far there are some things that I'd like to remember if I look back at this point, this early October, ifff I choose to look back one day:

1. My subjects are getting really interesting. I mean, before this there were so many subjects that seemed pointless but now I really feel like I'm learning new things, and it's a good feeling. In the past semesters we did take some interesting subjects like Social Entrepreneurship and Business Communication (which I found really useful because I never gave a damn about writing resumes and CVs and all those interview shit) but the rest of the subjects were rather meh, and I felt I was wasting my dad's money on education. But now I see some point going to college because there's some sort of real challenge to understand these new subjects. Funny how we actually love challenges.

2. I am beginning to have a true appreciation on my friendship with my gang from my foundation year. I admit when I first knew them I had some trust issues and I wasn't comfortable of them knowing about my past. But today one of them actually said just imagine if we didn't know each other..and I felt a little wave of thankfulness inside me. We actually took different courses after our foundation year, except for one who took the same with me. But these days, because of the fact that we don't get to spend a lot of time together, we actually make real effort to sync our timing and meet up for lunch. Today was the first time we had lunch together in about a month. I actually don't regret that I didn't go to the library, and that's just weird. We spent our gap hours having lunch, exchanging silly jokes, and having ice lollies at the nearby mall. I felt free and happy and weird at the same time. Because I know my mum would prefer me sitting at the library alone reading books but there I was loitering at the mall, being rowdy with a bunch of young kids. But I was happy and I am happy with myself, that even after all the things that had happened, I am still the old Fee after all.

I missed my favourite bus home too, just by perhaps a second or so. I was approaching the junction when it whizzed in front of me, but I could see the driver hunching his back to peek at me through his side window, and I almost raised my hand to stop him, but even raising my hand would require me to cross the road and run like Usain Bolt, so I accepted my fate and walked to the station with the hope that the next bus wouldn't take so long to move. I wish I stopped him though, because if I don't hop on that creaky old bus in a week, I'm going to lose a bit of my sanity..

I hopped on an unfamiliar bus, which was weird because I' ve been on bus rides for almost two years now but I've never been on this one. It was madly packed because that's the way it is with buses that move around peak hours, which is why I love my usual bus and not this one. It's funny how much a 30 minute difference can make.

I sipped my coffee because everything was beginning to feel tiring. I went from feeling sad and sleepy to being fully awake, alert, and delirious in just 30 minutes. The loud music from the radio that muffled my own music from my walkman no longer bothered me. I listened to the Pokémon Johto theme and smiled to myself—what an appropriate song to listen to at the beginning of a new sem that requires me to view things with a different attitude, I ponder to myself.

Listening to the conversations of makciks, looking out of the window like a sad wanderer, things just felt so OK after all, even when I didn't expect my day would be that way.

As I hopped off the bus, I walked to the junction of my home, and Mak Cik Neighbour was there, in a car, sitting at the passenger seat. As her husband drove out of the junction, I raised my hands and smiled broadly to her, thinking of how funny it is—I may never see her at the bus stop and have small talks with her again, but just waving hi from afar like that is something not too bad. I think she will eventually know that I now have a different timetable.

Tomorrow will be another long day, another day to hop on the early morning bus, and another evening missing my favourite bus, but I guess that's OK. As much as I love living a predictable, scheduled, routine life, I guess a little bit of variation and challenges won't hurt.
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