Quick post:
Assignments are out and I'm about to die.
I went to the hospital last Sunday to accompany my mum to visit a relative from village and he was at the emergency department while waiting to be admitted into a ward.
It made me realise that I have fully made peace with my past—of never getting to become a doctor in this lifetime. Being there for half an hour made me weary and there's just so much stimuli lol.
I saw a boy having a seizure and the look in his dad's eyes just made me feel damn sad.
The hospital is clearly not a place for someone like me. But I'm sure people like me who end up working there somehow grow to adapt and get used to it, and that's a remarkable thing. I have a mad amount of respect for them.
On a different note, I used all three crutches today. Hopped on a bus, spent 5 hours reading at the library, and gulped down a can of coffee on the ride home. It's the best decision I made today. I no longer care if they are my crutches or my way of running away or escaping because all that matters is that I found myself sitting on the bus feeling so thankful about life and that alone us enough for me.
I was the only passenger on my ride home from the main station, so it was very fun to feel kinda like a VIP. It wasn't for long though because other passengers began to hop on from other stops a few minutes later. When I reached my home junction the driver shut the back door which made me think he probably likes getting thank yous from me (perasan lol). Or maybe he just recognises my habit of getting out of the front door. Idk. It's still a fun thing to say though, those thank yous. I used to think I'm a creep for saying that to drivers but now I'm like well it's just common courtesy and what if they're having a shitty day and saying thank you can make them feel appreciated. That's kinda cool to think of.
I almost witnessed a brawl though between the mentally ill man and an elderly man. The brawl didn't happen. But it almost happened. It's pretty hard to explain, but if the elderly man wasn't an elderly man I'm sure some punches were exchanged this morning. Strangers are scary people, after all.
Apart from that, life's been as usual. I'm in my last Narnia book. I finished Macbeth today. And I managed to borrow Cosmos by Carl Sagan and I'm feeling damn special because the library had just purchased the book and I became the first to borrow it. It's one of the books frequently mentioned on Reddit so I am feeling very curious to read it.
In less than a month the second hand bookfair will return and I'm feeling super excited. It's like no matter what shit may happen, at least I have something to look forward to in life at the moment.
I guess that's all. Bye.
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