I'm Sorry

I'm sorry, I'm not being me.

Or is it that I'm being me now?

Back in home, whenever I feel annoyed, I will lock myself in my room and not entertain any questions from my sister. I'll just do anything according to what I feel like doing. I won't open my mouth to speak. I choose to be alone and cool down by myself.

..but this is not home.

I feel guilty that I'm treating some people here the way that I treat those who truly know me. When I say "those who truly know me", I mean my sisters. I can always choose to not answer them whenever I feel cranky. They will understand. But the people here? I don't know. They might think that I'm annoyed with them, but that's not the truth sometimes.

I need silence sometimes. I need to be alone sometimes.

Don't get me wrong. I love my friends, I love having them around me, I love the encouragement.

..but I just don't know why I seem to be choosing the people to talk with right now.

I'm really sorry for not smiling back, or not entertaining your questions and jokes. I just feel that I need to take a break. It's not because I'm emo, don't get me wrong. I am happy. I just want to get serious sometimes, because it's fun.

Yes, because it's fun.

Maybe these are the signs and symptoms towards reaching the age 19.